Editor: Teresa (Resa) Farnell /Evangelist-Teacher-Missionary - Prophetess-Author

Email: resafarnell@msn.com


Website: www.daughtersfaith.org

IF YOU ARE IN A SITUATION THAT SEEMS TO DIFFICULT TO BEAR, "ASK A SISTER" IS HERE TO SUPPORT YOU. just submit your question. You don't have to leave an email address or your real name. Its as simple as putting the question in the box below, and getting a posted answer to your question. (Look for some of the answers from your questions to be in future newsletters....)


March 2014
Dear Sister,


I'm so in love wt Christ n bent on doing His will when it comes to the choice of a life partner. Dreams & visions are a major way He speaks to me. while I was in my 2nd year in College,i had a vision about a young man whom I had met a year ago in church on campus,to the effect that we would end up married. Note that I hadn't had such thoughts about him prior to that vision. Over the years,i v been having follow up dreams n visions about him.Even sometimes when i hadn't tbought of him in months,something happens to remind me of him. People also asked me of him whenever I tried to get him out of my mind. From time to time,I try to keep in touch as a friend. i have prayed a lot about this,studied my bible & books on relationships and other self improvement books. I have also shared the experience with a few matured christians. Its been 6 yrs now and he hasn't even said a "hi". My friends that had similar experiences are now married.


I have tried to get into courtship ! with other guys but I often get a stern warning within my spirit or I'l have a dream/vision that will highlight all the good qualities in that initial guy. The physical is not jst aligning with the spiritual at all. I'm rili tired of the whole thing & I'm discouraged. I m also willing to try out other guys,because I'm open minded. I'm willing to move on if God decides to change His mind. This experience has scarred me so much emotionally and all round. The guy in question is active on facebook & sometimes changes his profile pix just after I changed my own.I gone thru' Ur answers & hv seen the spiritually and intellectually balanced anwers that U give. Pls what is happening to me? I am so WEARY.



Dear Weary,


      You have indicated that you have a strong love for Christ and you are bent on doing his will when it comes to the choice of a life partner. So you must let your love for Christ and your desire to please him lead you into prayer. God has stated; Psalms 37:4” Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Delight means, your desires line up with the desires God has for you.  God is not the author of lust and it appears that you are entertaining lust. The bible states in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient and kind…Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things…”


      Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” My dear, God only needs you to trust in him and pray. You must allow God to send you a husband if that is his will. “He who finds a wife…….”, so allow your husband to find you. You may be experiencing dreams, but surely God is not suggesting that you seek out this man and pursue him. The Devil likes an idle mind and he is at work interjecting thoughts which allow you to believe that this is the Lord’s work. Psalms 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God.” God will sometimes test our faith for an extended duration of time to stay faithful so we must endure and everything that God has for us will be ours. God loves you and we love you.


      It is not up to us to tell God what, when and how to add things to us. But whatever God has for you, it will not take your desire to please him away. Matthew 6:33 “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”


Godly love your Sister in Christ.

JULY 2013
fullname: Ms. 956
Comments: Sister I am battling with a Life threatening disease and doctors say I won't make it past another year or so.  I think I've
lost my family, and the people that care the most only think about themselves.  I just want to know how can I tell my family without them getting upset,
or ignoring the truth when they are so into spititual rather than understanding the reality of the doctors.
Dear Ms. 956
Sometimes spiritual people forget that we are human and have emotions and feelings.  There faith goes beyond what the doctors say, which is okay.
My recommendation to you is to enjoy your family and the days God has given you and don't focus on the disease but on the one "Jesus Christ". who can
heal you whether you stay or leave this world.  Healing don't always take place in the physical body, sometimes when we leave this earth from pain
and sorrow it gives us a place of peace.  Your family is probably upset because you are focuses to much on what the doctors say and not living your life.
God has the last say so! I know someone who had a life threatening disease and was suppose to be dead 16 years ago.  Guess what? the person is still
alive and presently walking into their healing, with minimum amount of medication.  Focus on living and not dying.  When you focus on living your spirit will
become revived and your family will soon realize the value of the days.  SISTER
Dec 2012



 I have been reflecting on my life lately and I only find myself depressed. Is it ok to be depressed? I thought Christians live in joy.  

Love the question, I recently sat in a class and struggled with the same question and as I listened to the speaker speak light bulbs went off in my head. So your question comes in good timing. See the problem is that your looking back, not ahead. Here are words of wisdom straight from Proverbs 4:25, “Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you” You can’t drive forward looking in the rear veiw mirror. When we look back we remember our mistakes and even get glimpse of the evil in our hearts, but when you have Christ in you the spirit of God will convict you. So its easy to fall into a depression when your looking back, just as easy as it is to crash your car driving forward looking in the rear view mirror.  The problem is not in christianity, or in God, or in the Spirit or in what we did. Its in what we keep in our minds. Stop looking back, look ahead. With that said, remember we are all in the good race of life and we fall short often. Although we strive to be perfect human beings, we fall. So will we ever “arrive” probably not. But we should celebrate the miles covered and smile at the fact that we are not who we once were, we are on our way to being a “better me”. When you change your thought process and start celebrating the miles covered and thanking God for the new creation in you, that’s when you find joy. So its there… you just have to grab it.  
Lets ring the bells of joy, and enjoy this joyful season, for the savior was born to give us new life!  


fullname: Hy my name is ester i have been dating for tow months with this guy ,so i never knew that he loves me more then his life,so yesterday he dumped me becouse of i never wanted to kiss him on the street so he said his moving on and i cannot get him out of my mind iam crying right now and i dont know what to do,can he give me anther chance?

Dear ester,

Thank God it has been only two months, before you found out he didn't want you anymore.  I know it hurts, especially when you have given a lot of time into a relationship, but look at it on the bright side, if he dumped you because you wouldn't kiss him in the public, what else would he require of you in the public.  I can tell your morals are important to you. Never let your guard down.  Keep the high expectations of yourself and God will release unto you someone who will respect your morals.  I know you are crying because it hurts, but a few months from now you will be laughing and thanking God for revealing this guy to you.  Remember....this too shall pass.  Your Sister

July 2012

Q. I have been told on many occasions that I talk too much. I never know what is a secret or not and I am a person who wants to be in the "know" and like to inform others too. But there is a thin line between wanting to be in the "know" and contributing to gossip. When does one know when to keep shut?


A. Hi,
Solomon wrote, "Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent" (Proverbs 17:28). Please don't take that offensively, in no way am I calling you a fool. But there is much for all of us to learn in this one particular scripture. Knowledge gives us a sense of power. With knowledge we feel people can come to us for the answers. With knowledge we feel ahead of the game, because we "know". And because we know we understand. I am one consistently in the persuit of knowledge so one day my mother sat me down and said, "there is a difference between knowledge and wisdom. Anyone can get information and know, but a wise person takes what they know and applies it" Mark Twain once wrote, "It takes two years to learn to talk, and the rest of your life to control it" That's a hard truth. Take some time to "know" what God says about gossip, study it. Then be wise and apply His biblical teachings.
Now... I know this will be rough, but stop and think before you speak and keep this scripture in the forefront of your mind, "Let the words of my mouth... be acceptable in Your sight" Ps 19:14


Q. I have made some serious mistakes in my past. Although today I am a new person and Im making progress, something always happens to surface my past and make me feel horrible. I don't know how to overcome this, because my past is a truth. It happened, Im ashamed of it and I know scripture says I'm made new, but why the torment?

There is a quote that comes to mind when I think of your question. It say, "Every Sinner has a future, and every Saint has a past". This is just my opinion but humanity has a tendancy to get very arrogant when it goes well all the time. Not saying that this is the case with you, but sometimes that torment is really just humbling reminders. Remind us that we do fall, and the same mercy you ask of others when that torment comes that you bestowe upon others.

Even Paul had a thorn in his side. Life as a Christian doesn't exempt us from torment nor does it exempt us from the consequences of our past. Your past means nothing but how you react to your past when it surfaces will speak on who you are. And as a Christian our reaction speaks like a mega phone as opposed to what comes out of our mouth. Stay encouraged and know that God can use anything for his glory, including your mistakes.
Be Blessed.

MARCH 2012 


Q. Hallo sister,i have a big problem i would like to share...My relationship kind of life has never been fruitfull though i have a 7 year old son whom i have since taken care of by mself to date...I am not lucky to find a man to marry me,i have long been wishing to live a marriage kind of life.Recently after a relationship that lasted 1 year without success,i found another man of whom i have lasted with five months,I got pregnant and the man proposed that i abort of which i did.Later on he travelled back to his country and promised me that he is going to talk to his family and when he comes back we will talk of our marriage plan..am totaly confused since before the eyes of God i admit that i sinned and this makes me be guilty all the time.Every sunday i go to church but i feel shame before the eyes of God and am trully sorry for what i agreed to do....pliz help me! how can i go about this situation?

R. esponse

Everyone has a past that they are not proud of, and consequently the pain we endure today is the result of poor choices. There isn't anyone to blame to take the burden off ourselves. Today's guilt is driven by yesterday's mistakes. Its hard to let go of, especially when we know we are wrong. So shame leads us into the valley of worthlessnes, and eventually you feel God himself wants nothing to do with you. But that's not true. This is what you have to do, Go to a quiet place in your home, and talk to God. Tell Him everything, tell him what your feeling, and what your fears are. Repent. Tell God your sorry.
On Sunday when you go to church, you are still going to feel shame, your still going to deal with pain. But I promise you, if you endure, you will grow from it. You will grow in strength. And in those moments where you feel and hear the accusing thoughts that you shouldn't be there hold onto this scripture: 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Don't listen to the lies that God doesn't want you. He didn't create you for nothing. And my personal piece of advice, find peace in being a single mom. God is the father to the fatherless, so don't feel you need to find a father for your son. God is handling that matter for you. Give him that honor, and watch your son turn into something great. Teach your son to be content in any circumstance, you start his lessons by being content in yours.
Stay encouraged sister.

NOTE TO ALL: Just a special request for all who read this to pray for our Single Mothers.

JAN-FEB 2012 

Q. Is this true? "To understand a faith we need to see how it works amonst a people" -Ninian Smart. I'm studing religions in school and this quote didn't make sense to me.

Dear Student,
The answer is no. If you could see it, it wouldn't be called faith. It would be just another theory that we would try to prove with the eyes. Faith is believing in the unseen. Hebrews 11:1 "Faith is being sure of what we hope for. It is being certain of what we do not see" To understand faith you have to believe and experience living in hope.
Words can never truly grasp what faith is. How does one have faith in something they have never seen? Therefore, something has to happen to the heart, that calls us to hope in something we can't see. This is why the scriptures tell us that those who are his sheep will know his voice. It runs deeper than observation of a people and theories. And its wonderful you caught how incorrect that statement is. Read the chapter of Hebrews 11.
Good luck with your studies and be blessed.

DEC 2011 

Q. I have been reflecting on my life lately and I only find myself depressed. Is it ok to be depressed? I thought Christians live in joy.


Love the question, I recently sat in a class and struggled with the same question and as I listened to the speaker speak light bulbs went off in my head. So your question comes in good timing. See the problem is that your looking back, not ahead. Here are words of wisdom straight from Proverbs 4:25, "Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you" You can't drive forward looking in the rear veiw mirror. When we look back we remember our mistakes and even get glimpse of the evil in our hearts, but when you have Christ in you the spirit of God will convict you. So its easy to fall into a depression when your looking back, just as easy as it is to crash your car driving forward looking in the rear view mirror. So is it ok?

The problem is not in christianity, or in God, or in the Spirit or in what we did. Its in what we keep in our minds that depress us. Stop looking back, look ahead. With that said, remember we are all in the good race of life and we fall short often. Although we strive to be perfect human beings, we fall. So will we ever "arrive" probably not. But we should celebrate the miles covered and smile at the fact that we are not who we once were, we are on our way to being a "better me". When you change your thought process and start celebrating the miles covered and thanking God for the new creation in you, that's when you find joy. So its there... you just have to grab it.

Lets ring the bells of joy, and enjoy this joyful season, for the savior was born to give us new life!


Nov 2011 

Q. I recently went to a funeral of a dear friend of mine who fell down some stairs and never recovered. You would think that is the worst news, but its not. He was lucky, see my dad fell down the stairs 6 years ago and has layed in a bed since then. He went from being a man who could fix it all to a man who needs his diaper changed by his son. I love my father but his condition is growing worse and it pains me to see him suffer the way he is. So this is my question to you, Where is God's healing? And if he isn't worthy of healing why didn't he atleast end my fathers suffering and take him. Why all this suffering, whats the reason.

First of all let me say Im sorry for your loss and for the condition of your father. This is a great question. I often too wonder where is the healing. And I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't. But I can say that when one is living the experience its hard to see what God had planned. Maybe in a few years when you look back on today you will share with me where God was through all this. I really don't know. I can recommend a book and I hope you consider reading it. It helped me a great deal when I had a similar question. "When Bad things happen to good people" by Harold Kushner. The best chapter in the book is the one titled, "Sometimes there is no reason".
We can ask a million and one questions and never find any peace in any of the answers, but accepting it and moving on and looking forward is the hope we all need. But we have to come to terms with the fact that "Sometimes there is no reason". And in our humanity, this is easier said than done. We are all in the quest of knowledge. The question I asked myself at the end of journey of looking to God for "Why?" was "If I knew why, what will that do?" Quench my curiosity. It was obviously not going to change the outcome. But one thing is certain that God was not annoyed with my questions. It's a great question. And I pray for healing for you specificially, in your spirit and in your heart. To accept what you can not change and find peace in your heart.

Be Blessed

For all those silent tears out there, to scared to ask what to do with it.:

.  GOD showed me that so many people are hurting today and they have what I call, Silent Tears!  What is a Silent Tear?  It's when you go to work, church or home or wherever and you look good, you smell good, you articulate well, you have that million dollar smile, but deep down inside you, there's something that is causing you so much pain!  No one knows about it.  How many times have you been hurt by a lie?  Hurt by a rumor?  Hurt by church folk?  You don't want anyone to know that they've gotten the best of you at that moment and you go through the service smiling and looking like you're praising GOD, but at the same time you crying on the inside.  You miss your father who died, you miss your mom whom you never knew, you're caught in sin and no one knows, but GOD and it's affecting your walk in CHRIST!  You're becoming weary and tired because you're trying to figure out how long you will have to deal with this Silent Tear!  It's silent to others, but it's loud to yourself and it hurts.  When you're at that point that it hurts so much that you can't cry.  You don't know which way to move.  You don't know whether to listen and wait on GOD or to act in the flesh.  You're getting doors shut in your face.  When it seems like you can't make it to the next day.  When all hell has broken loose in your life and no one knows.  I came to tell you today that GOD hears your Silent Tears!  GOD will rock you to sleep at night when you can't sleep.  GOD sent me to let you know that even with all your pain, HE hears you!  HE hears your Silent Tears!  HE will bring you peace in the midnight hour.  Weeping may endure for a night, but JOY..............GOD, right now, destroy the yokes of your people who are bound and who have Silent Tears!
"I am weary with my groaning; all night I make my bed swim; I drench my couch with my tears.  My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows old because of all my enemies."  Psalms 6:6
Your Silent Tears will cause you to become weary.  They will cause you to become bitter and not better.  Your eyes will waste away because of the grief that's causing you so much pain.  Hand it to the LORD!  Give it to CHRIST!  Stop trying to hold on to something that you can't control.  Stop telling yourself that you can deal with it.  Stop allowing yourself to be hurt over and over by trying to make it seem like it's not there.  Because you can fool us, but at some point in the day or night you have to face the Silent Tears in your life!  Give it to HIM!  Give it to HIM!  Give it to HIM!  Give it to HIM!  Give it to HIM!  Give to HIM!  Give it to HIM!  Right now.....right now.....right now!  I can feel it even before you open this e-mail up and read it, the Spirit of the LORD flowing and wiping away all the Silent Tears in our life.  HE knows all about it, so give it to HIM.  In JESUS name.....AMEN!

-Author Anonymous

Hello Sister,

I have been unhappily married for 25 years. I married despite the council of my parents who told me not too and now I have children and I refuse for them to grow up in a home without a father. But I long to be loved. My wife does not love me and I don't think she ever will. As soon as my kids are 18, I want out of this marriage. But I fear what will happen with my relationship with God. Isn't 25 years of suffering enough?

Hello Brother,

First let me commend you on your strong fatherly convictions.Your a self sacrificing man to put the need of your children before your own. And your children are growing up in a unbroken home as a result of your actions. So is 25 years worth it? Absolutely. As you know God hates divorce but he never stops loving his children. I don't know what is going on in your home, I have counciled people who suffered the trama of divorce and I seen first hand how traumatic it is for both parties in volved. You are spiritually ripping apart what God has put together. Its just as traumatic as dealing with death. Not to mention what it does to your children, no matter what the age. I have spoken to people in their forty's experiencing their parents divorce and it hurts just as much as if they were young, and in some cases more because they felt their "happy family" life was all a lie.
So if there is anything I can offer you brother is the advice to pray to God for change. Get marital counseling and remember why you married her to begin with, because you loved her. And fall in love all over again. God is the God of the impossible and you might think that this is impossible but I'm telling you he can change you and your view of your marriage and change your wife as well. So is 25 years enough? I have to wonder if God took that position with you, would you want him to give up? Read the book of Hosea when you get time, you might find some hard truths in there.
Pray about it, whatever decision you make regardless God will love you, cause He's faithful despite how little we love him in comparison to how he loves us.
I will be praying for you brother.


July 2011

Hello Sister,

I'm scared. That's what it all comes down to. Life feels like if I take this way, Im gonna get hurt. Go another way and Im going to get hurt. I can't get my way, nor make anyone happy. So I guess my question is, how do I move from here, when every road is a scary road.


FEAR- False Evidence Assumed Real. Don't let your fears and assumptions rob you of having a life. Your not going to make everyone happy, but you can't live life for just you either. There has to be a healthy balance and your movement should be made in godly wisdom. That means you pray about it, ask God for that extra dose of courage because your scared, then MOVE. Below is a quote that I found that may help as well.

"According to the Bible, there is nothing wrong with realistically acknowledging and trying to deal with the identifiable problems of life. To ignore danger is fooling and wrong. But it is also wrong, as well as unhealthy, to be immobilized by excessive worry. Such worry must be committed to prayer to God, who can release us from paralyzing fear or anxiety, and free us to deal realistically with the needs and welfare both of others and of ourselves." (Dr. Gary R. Collins, Christian Counseling, p. 66.)"
"I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears" (Psalm 34:4).
Put it in prayer, you will be more than just fine.
Be Blessed


June 2011 

Hello Sister,

God has saved me before, but right now I can't honestly say He is helping me. I know God is real, I have experienced him first hand. But right now I have to be honest and say I don't see Him. I need God to solve this problem for me, what should I do? I have fasted and prayed, what more?

I hear you!
And I know how you feel. So here is a simple statement that I hope helps you.
When God solves your problems you have faith in Him. But when He doesn't its because He has faith in your ability.

God equipped you with a brain that holds his word, which means you have wisdom. There are some things you can handle. But never cease praying, maybe your prayer should change from "God solve this problem " to "God show me how to solve this problem, I want to make you proud"
Be Blessed

webassets/lovesick.jpgHello Sister,

I am currently in a relationship. You must understand I love this man and he loves me. We have been living together for a couple of years and are very happy but we are not married. We have been going to church for two years now and I'm feeling horrible about my living situation and my boyfriend doesn't seem to understand why it bothers me now and it didn't before. I don't understand it either, but it does and I don't know what to do.

Hello Sister,
Wow sounds like the Spirit is working in you and as things are revealed to you in pieces it requires for us to make adjustments. This is a clear example of "opening your eyes". Mnay don't understand that, but I know you do. Once upon a time your situation was justified by a wordly standard and you saw no wrong in your situation. But when you trully give your life to Christ the sword of truth comes in and cuts away at things including us. And the truth hurts, but to live with this man out of wedlock is wrong. You should not give what belongs to your husband to a boyfriend. And I am sure in your heart you believe he is your husband so what harm can it do, right?

As you approach intimacy with God he will require you to demonstrate your faith by trusting him. Do you trust him? If you do you will make the necessary adjustments to do what is right and that is to live like a pure single female as you are. Your not his wife so, Im sorry honey but you can't live together the way you are.

But don't be discouraged, an old friend of mine started visiting my church and did this miraculous conversion and the firs thing she did was kick her boyfriend out and say, "I love God and I can't disapoint him like this, your not my husband so you have to go". Two years later, they are married and getting involved with the young couples of the church warning them of the do's and donts of relationships.

In her situation she trusted God and God gave her hearts desires, but only because it was his will. I am not sure if that is the case with you and if its not, you will have to make a choice based on the fact that you might not marry him. You can't stay where you are at, and move forward with God. Adjustments need to be made. Pray for streangth to move demonstrating your faith. And keep in mind that if you stay where you are, you hold yourself back from seeing God's promise. Stay focused on the promise.

We will be praying for you,

APRIL 2011

Hello Sister,

I am having a hard time forgiving. Without going into detail of what happened, please understand I was betrayed, abused and mistreated. I know I am supposed to forgive, but I am angry and I can't forget what has happened. It hurts. How am I supposed to forgive.

Hello Sister,
I hear you! Forgivness is tough. And I can relate to your sentiment someone should pay. We are raised in a society where we punish those who are guilty. Attorneys get paid big money to lock up those who are guilty. Yet when a friend or a loved one betrays you, you can't take it to court and lock them up for what they did wrong. In some cases you can, but even in those cases some may feel their sentence is not enough, they need to feel the pain and anguish you feel, correct?
Here is an illustration of not forgiving.

"A a betrayed and hurt sister, picks up a vile of poison and looks in the eyes of the one who wronged her. She takes the vile to her lips and swallows the poison and looks at the traitor expecting them to die"

That's what life is like when you don't forgive. You poison yourself.
Now.. As for the saying forgiving and forgetting. Don't take it out of context. When you forgive you don't forget what happened. For example, a few years ago, playing with my friends I jumped a fence and slipped and the metal from the top of the fence peirced the back of my leg dripping blood everywhere. As I called my mom and dad and described the scenerio, I cried. The physical part of it, the piercing through my leg was horifying and painful, and weeks later the memory still brought tears to my eyes. Today I can tell the story of what happened and remember the pain and every detail about it, but it no longer hurts me. My wound healed but the scar is there as a reminder to not jump fences.
That's how it will be with you sister. Trama is hard to forget but forgive by faith so you don't poison yourself and when God heals your wounds, you will not forget what happened, but you will be able to talk about it without feeling the hurt. Why? Because you forget the hurt, because your no longer living it.
Not forgiving, is only going to cause you to lose sleep while they sleep at nights. Don't give anyone that victory over you. We will pray for you.


March 2011 Ask a Sister
Hello Sister,

I know all about Christian History, and I studied religion deeply but I don't feel anything? Tell me whats the deal?

Hello Sister,
Awesome question. I can give you my social security number, give you the names of all the members of my family and tell you my entire story. I will give you so much you can pretty much steal my identity, and commit some serious financial fraud. But you will never know who I am. So Im not impressed my your theological studies or knowledge, however, I am impressed with your question- because it's a start.

Relationship is key. There was a young lady who gave birth to a little girl. Sadly, her father was serving his country when she was born so the little girl never got to meet her father. But every night her mother told the story of her fathers love and sacrifice to protect her country. One day the letter arrived and this little girl knew she was going to meet her father. The second she saw him, she did not question his existance she ran to her fathers arms and welcomed him home and looked forward to building memories together.

Don't seek facts, seek relationship. That means all the effort you put into the dating arena, your going to put in to seeking God. Those endless nights on the phone, that's called prayer. Dating, that's called quality time with God. And we all know TRUST is key in a relationship right? So when you know, and you will know when HE tells you something, you do it the way you would do it for that significant other that you don't want to disapoint, out of love.

Good Luck and let me know how it turns out.




February 2011 Ask a Sister

webassets/askasister.jpgHello Sister,

The bible speaks of homosexuality with men, but says nothing of women. How do we know that homosexuality between women is wrong?


Hello Sister,
Homosexuality is nothing new, and obviously you know this because you read about it in the bible that has been around longer than we have. With that said let us take apart the word homosexual. Homo it means "same" and sexual...well I don't think I need to get into that. We are all sexual beings. When the bible speaks of homosexuality it is addressing the "same" gender. But should you need a scripture to support this, let's travel into the book of Romans that describes both the perversion and penalty: "Their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed the indecent acts with other men, and received themselves the due penalty for their perversion" Romans 1:26-27.

As you can see women are not excluded from Paul's statement.
You have to appreciate the fact that it doesn't take an advanced degree in physiology to see that the human body is not designed for homosexual relationships. The first clue is that a homosexual couple can not procreate. Not to mention there are devastating psychological and physiological affects
in the practice of homosexuality.

Needless to say the bible does address the issue of homosexuality for both men and women. I do want to emphasize however, that Gods word carefully defines the borders of our human sexuality so that our joy may be complete. And I hope and pray that this letter does the same, not to condemn but to
enlighten you the reader that God's design offers complete joy. The original design was Adam and Eve, not Eve and Ivette.

Great question, keep them coming.
Be Blessed

January 2011 

webassets/askasister.jpgDear Sister, 
I, like everyone else struggle with my flesh. There has to be an easier way to overcome this. Can you offer any encouragement.

Dear Sister,
Yes I most definitely can! I read a horrifying article of a man who raised dogs to fight. Over time his dog fighting events gained popularity and gamblers were coming in from all over to place their bets on what dog would win. Even the mastermind behind the horrifying scheme had managed to make a pretty penny on fixing the matches so he always won. But how do you fix a dog fight? You can't tell one dog to not defend itself and when they grow up vicious there really is little obedience training involved, so how did he manage to "fix" the fights? A few days before the fight was scheduled he would simply not feed the dog. The dog would be too weak to fight and consequently lose in battle
Your probably wondering what does dogs have to do with my struggle?
Paul said, "For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. " Galatians 5:17This is how our spiritual walk is. This is the war that wages within and has been for longer than our concept of time can comprehend. Even those who say, "I stand firm" Paul warns..."be careful you don't fall!" 1 Cor 10:12
We all struggle, we all fall short! So don't feel alone or judged. So what does one do? Take the strategic move above to increase your chances of success; don't feed the flesh. How does one do this? Feed the Spirit.
I can't say it better than how Paul said it, "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18. There are many that would love to see you fail, but God wants you to succeed and you can fix the fight to make sure of it!
PS- See January Encouragement- "Fix the fight" that was inspired by your request. Be blessed you are in my prayers.


 December 2010 Ask a Sister

Dear Sister, 

I am new in my faith and I have come across many people who want to challenge my faith. The challenge was the Holidays. In discussing Holloween an Athiest told me that Christmas was a pagan holiday. Can you explain this to me? I felt so lost and walked away feeling he thought he shook my faith.

Dear Sister,

As a believer you should always research. "Seek and you shall find". There is truth behind that statement. December 25th festivities have pagan origens. In ancient Babylon, the feast of th eSon of Isis, was celebrated on Dec 25. In Rome, The Winter Solice was celebrated years before Christ Birth. The holiday was honoring Saturn, the god of Agriculture. No one knows what day Jesus was born,the scripture speaks of the shepherds tending their sheep in the fields and if it was on December 25, it would be unlikely they would be there during a cold Judean winter. Actually a lot of the Christmas customs have pagan roots. For example kissing under the mistletoe was a fertility ritual. So you are probably asking why do we celebrate it?

In 350, Pope Julius I declared that Christ birth would be celebrated on December 25. Some say it was an act to override the pagan holidays, others speculate that he was trying to make it painless for the Romans so they can continue to celebrate the way they did. Honestly who cares at this point. Laughing

Here is the important question... Does it matter? You are accountable for what you know, this is true.  But shouldn't you as a believer celebrate his birth, death and ressurection everyday? And take a moment to think just about the conversation piece alone in regards to the date. People from other countries travel here to America and question, "What is this Christmas?" Its not Dec 25th, its not about presents, and its not about the decorations and its certaintly not about the Pagan holidays that were celebrated on that date once upon a time. Its your opportunity to speak about Christ.

If you want to answer your Athiest friend say, "You are half correct, Dec 25th is a pagan holiday in other cultures and you are correct some of its customs have merged with Christmas through out the years, (shame on us).However, "Christmas" is not a pagan holiday. But will you discontinue to celebrate your birthday if it fell on the date of someone elses? Do you ever celebrate your birthday on the actual date, or wait for a convenient weekend before or after? With that said... Let me tell you what I celebrate, I celebrate Christ"

Have a blessed Christmas Sister




webassets/askasister.jpgDear Sister, 

Ok, let's say a woman's husband gets into a bad accident, but survives. He has had some brain damage, and the doctors say he will not be the same person. He is mentally stable, but once he gets home he is a total different person. He is mean and moody and its like having a stranger in the house, and even though he remembers her, her doesn't love her or feel like he knows her, and vice versa. She wants to leave him because emotionally and mentally that is not her husband, but she doesn't want to divorce him because it goes against her religion and God's words, what would you suggest??

Good question,

That's a difficult situation. You want a biblical answer it's in the book of Hosea. Hosea married a woman who left him and mistreated him and took him for granted and over and over again God said to take her back. Over time, and I mean a long time her eyes opened to what she had with Hosea and she returned home to never leave again. The message in the story is Hosea is being taught a lesson to teach, we tend to mistreat God over and over again, and we leave and come back, over and over again. But God continuously takes us back.

I know this is slightly different as he hasn't left her, but his love has left her. I learned recently that a covenant exist as long as the initiator wills it. Marriage is one of those sacred covenants made before God. If this woman truly knows God, not religion, then she would seize this opportunity to learn from but also teach. The man had a tragic accident, and his world has changed around him, if I were in his shoes I would be a little irritable as well. She shouldn't choose to be with him because it's against her religion to divorce, she should chose to be with him out of love -and I'm talking real love, unconditional pure love. If it were her son would she drop him too? The marriage vow is for better or for worse... if she didn't consider the cost of that she definitely does now that she has to live it.

This would be a prime opportunity to love to instruct. He might not like it, he might not receive it, but the point is at one point or another he will realize what he has... like Hosea's wife. How often do we see that today? It's easy to quit, it's hard to make the right choice. Think of the many situations where the initiator decided to stick it out... for better or worse. This would be an opportunity to fall in love all over again. Date; learn more of each other and so on but that's a choice. If it were myself, of course the possibility of divorce would pass my thoughts, and because of his cruelty and lack of love I can justify myself to those around me, but then I walk away failing to be strong. I walk away another number to add to the statistics of divorce. I walk away never finding out if I could help restore this relationship and fall in love again. I walk away from the man he once was, never allowing the time for him to heal and discover who he once was. I walk away at a loss not a gain.

If she really wants to use God as an excuse to be a victim, then her perspectives are all negative. Look at God to restore be the power to overcomer the circumstance, and then she can  be a testimony to others who will in the future have similar situations. Then suddenly life counts more than life would have as a worldly statistic that the world predicts will happen to  her anyway. I speak from experience on that point.

However again, it's her choice.




My question today is that even though we provide all our children with everything that they need, but when it comes time for things that they want they think that by us being the parents even though they are grown it is our job to supply them. It is hard for to bear this at times, but I continue to put my TRUST in GOD because I know he will bring me through it. But I also ask him to send my children and eye opener to live for him and PLEASE don't let it be anything of harm to them. But to guide their tongues and feet so that they can speak and for him nin a mighty mighty way with his PRECIOUS BLOOD that he shedded for all of our sins. In the name of JESUS. AMEN....

Hello Sister,

Just reading your question, I was able to pick up that you are a gracious loving mother. One that probably carries an unnecessary guilt when saying no. I work a great deal with adolescence and the ones who have the deepest and profound sense of value are those who know what it's like to go without. Yeah they gripe and complain because they want more, and they want what they don't necessarily need. They are not spoiled and have what they need, and can't understand those who's spirits go into turmoil when they go without.

 On the other side of the coin as a mom I understand how it feels to say no, and watch your child walk away disappointed or in other situations slamming doors. What I do want to point out to you, is that you asked God to open their eyes, and from my perspective looking into your situation and not having the emotional ties to cloud my view, I see that God is already doing that... through you. As parents, we are going to go through some painful phases of our kids lives, some of which we will carry more than we think we can bear. However we were made in God's image and one of the things we exemplify to our children is that with all the harm they may cause, or painful choices they make we are still going to stand by our child saying, "I love you and I am here". That's how we show God's love, through our parenting. Your child grows through struggles, they learn to endure and that endurance transforms into character, and that character develops a hope, and that hope transforms into a joy that through the grace of God never dies in the face of sorrow. That is the goal, to raise godly people who spew the image of God through their pores. And that is how it will be with your children, however it's not an overnight event. It is a process. A process of hearing no, a process of saying no, a process of learning to endure to live without certain wants and discovering a fulfillment in the needs that God provides. Right now, all they need is what you are providing, so don't feel guilty.  You're not hurting your children, your raising them right. Pray like Hannah did reverently for your children, so one day you can say as Hannah did, "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him" 1 Sam 27. Don't underestimate the power of prayer, being a praying mom will pull you through.

You're in my prayers sister



SEPT 2010

Dear Sister, 

Since your all wise an all... What's your take on a girl chasing a guy... Or a guy chasing a girl?


Dear Chasing ,

It depends, I can tell u this. Once when I was chasing after a guy (yeah that happened) God brought me to a scripture in the book of Esther where she said something along the line of "when my king is ready for me he will call me by name" and it spoke 2 me. You my dear are a rare jewel and any jewel is sought. Those who want it will dig in any cavern for it because they know its value. As for a man, he should know that in order to find your heart he will have to seek God to find it, because He holds you. Also any man that ask you out, should be prepared to respect your values.

In observing men I did notice that they are complimented in being chased. However they grow when they have to gain the courage to ask a girl out, and they show extreme value to anything they had to work hard to get. They protect it too. They are born for challenges, natural thrill seekers so let them be men and have the joy of conquering the feat of woooing your heart. And even if they are not, because there are the few that are not thrill seekers or up for any challenge at all. But don't worry, the chase can continue, like this: Boy chasing God runs into girl chasing God, and he nearly knocks her over. He excuses himself and says, "Sorry I was chasing God" and she says, "Wow me too" and boy says, "wow lets chase him together". That romantic chase you have in you, give it to God and he will bring him to you in the right time under the right circumstances. Don't worry your time will come. Hope that helps and thanks for the compliment.

Keep chasing God,


Dear Sister, 
I'm going through a hard time right now. My spouse cheated on me. I caught him and I don't know what to do. I feel betrayed, but I wont lie I love him and I don't want to get a divorced. Yet I feel like he should pay for what he did. I feel horrible feeling this way, because I know its wrong. But he has no idea the torture he put this family through with his betrayal. He is supposed to be a godly man, but his actions said otherwise.
A praying sister

Dear Praying Sister ,

I'm truly sorry for the circumstance. I know its hard to forgive someone when you believe they should pay for what they did. Trust me your not alone in that thinking, its human so don't beat yourself up over it. But what I want you to remember is that he is not getting away with it. Sister, your child of God. When you and your husband vowed before God to be joined in matrimony, he not only made a promise to you, but a promise before God. And he will have to stand before God and give an account of his actions. And God disciplines those he loves, so believe you me, he will pay.

Your husband is not your enemy, he is your husband and remember that your vow stands before God primarily before your husband. You promised to love him and stand by him through good and bad. Your anger, your husband will expect. Divorce he will expect, but love mercy and kindness will confuse him, but drive him right to God's hands. As long as he can acknowledge his errors as errors and ask God to forgive him he can be reinstated back to the place where he was before the sin. We all sin and fall short. So Sister, don't deny him the mercy you will one day need in your sin before God. It wont happen over night, it will be a process. But there is nothing not possible for God. The enemy attacked your home, don't give him the privilege of breaking it. Take it back and when God restores you, you will have the last laugh.
Keep praying


June 2010

Dear Sister;
I'm going all the way this time in my work for the Lord! I decided to make a vow to myself and the Lord that I will save myself for my husband! I'm not a Virgin but since I gave my life to Christ I feel like I have a fresh start. And I want to do everything right! You know? I know others may think that's hard considering my age, but I know I can do it, and I will do it! But my main question is that because of my high standards now because of my new walk I refuse to settle but will God send him(my husband) to me? If he does how will I know? Help me please!

I'm Expecting Love

Dear Sister I'm Expecting Love,

I'm very excited with your new walk, passion and perseverance you demonstrate in your communication. And I have no doubts that you can do it. Now to your question will God send him? Only God knows and only God can answer such a question. I know you didn't want to hear or let alone read that, but I am not a prophet prophesying the coming of a mate. I don't want to lie to you and I wish most would take this approach that I am about to take with you.
Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well"
Honey, you may think that your mate is selected by your standard, but the reality is that God doesn't give women such as yourself to just anyone. Yeah, you can select anyone you like but God's chosen one, needs to be prepared for you and you for him. And you have to trust in his timing not your own. If you are truly seeking the kingdom, I am sure God will bless you with the desires of your heart. He knows you in and out and He surpasses expectations with the gifts he gives.
Matthew 7:11 "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"
Next question for you, did you ask him? Sometimes we get so wrapped up looking for answers from people around us that we forget to ask God himself.
Next question and this is the hardest question. What if God's plans for you don't involve a mate, would you be content? Do you love God enough to feel fulfilled with just Him as your bridegroom? I know these are not easy questions, and society doesn't make it easy on women like us with their constant questions "why is she single is something wrong with her?". Nothing is wrong sweetie; God knows what he is doing. Reality is there is a great deal one can accomplish being single. Did you find satisfaction in being a "single" follower of Christ? You are not in a bad situation. A single beautiful woman on fire for Christ sends a strong message out to those who see you. And you never walk alone. By the way the name you selected as your alias is appropriate because you are correct to expect love, now realize you have it.

Be Blessed Sister.

JUNE 2010

Dear Sister,

I am not sure how to start off my question, so I'm just going to talk.
The Bible says that "when a man findeth a wife he finds a good thing", but what does the wife find, receive, or get out of this. It's hard from time to time to continue to be a good wife. I know that I have the Love of God, because I know the old me. And there are times when I want to get back and I can't which also hurts sometime. I can't think of anything that I wouldn't do for him, but it hurts when I can't get what I want sometime. I am not perfect, but I'm smart, I'm not perfect, but I'm great, I'm not perfect, but I'm awesome, I'm not perfect but I am decently educated, I'm not perfect but I fear God, I'm not perfect...But I believe that what I have conquered, overcome, surpass, suffered, and gaved up allows me to feel as if I deserve any and everything I ask for, not to say we are rich, we are not poor, we are blessed in spite of, but with all that being said, it does not mean that I am asking for something that we can't afford; quality time. That's all I ask for. !
I am writing you, Dear Sister, in the midst of my tears. I don't understand why I have to give up so much for so little. For example; I believe that I deserve the 10k ring or what not, I am not going to ask for it, not that I care to have, but I know that I am good enough to receive it. Sometime men don't realize that they make their spouse feel unworthy, not pretty, give them low self-esteem because of these type of circumstances. I have enough sense to know that I am pretty, worthy, but at the same time, what does he think. Some women look at me like, WOW, but when women compare themselves, there are some things that I may care about, that another woman may not. But at the same time we both still deserve it. I don't beleive I ask for a lot. But back to my question, If a man findeth a wife, he findeth a good thing, but what do I get. My husband feels that because he buys me jewelry, purses, or what not I should be happy, but I'm not. That does not mean I don't like it, but is it fair that the things I have received should replace me wanting what I deserve "QT".

This isn't all that is on my mind, but I'm going to go now.

Hope you had a Blessed Mother's Day.

Hey Sister,
I love the honesty in this question and also the confidence. Scripture does say that, however it says a lot more than that. One of the most popular scriptures quoted in regards to love is found in Ephesians 5: 22-33, and it starts off with. "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish..." And there is a lot more, but I will allow you to go in and read it. With that said, if we, women, marry godly men we will gain a good thing as well.

Quality time is a huge factor in a relationship and when the relationship is not fed, that is where one or the other starts to feel insecurity or lose sense of value, their the symptoms of a cold coming on. Remember the two of you represent one body and if it is not fed appropriately to get its daily nutrients the relationship gets sick, for the lack of a better word. But its not dead.

There are many women out there living lonely lives. You have someone. Does he know you desire Quality time? Here is where the message gets harsh but it needs to be said, I will tell you like I tell everyone else, if communicating with your partner does not work then it's a possibility that the problem could be you, and your pride is obscuring your vision. The only person you have control over is yourself. When he is around do you seize the moment to enjoy it with him or do you seize it to argue about what he lacks to do for you. The more you remind a man of his faults the more you encourage his fall.

Ask yourself why doesn't he want to spend time with you? I know this is tough because it requires you to work and not him, but you're the one seeking to restore something. Here is your mission, drive to do more good and love him more if he doesn't desire to spend more time with you after that, then girl get Jesus on him.

And pray, pray for your marriage. And let him know your praying for him. Pray over him out loud before he leaves the house and pray for him again giving thanks to the Lord for him when he is about to shut his eyes at night.

One last thought, its by HIS grace that we don't get what we really deserve. And take a moment to think about all that he suffered, to make sure of that. He didn't deserve that.

Be Blessed Sister



CryJune 2010
Suicide Question 
Sister writes,
When I was 15 I met a boy at my church, my youth group to be exact. I couldn't say we were friends, we didn't talk to each other very much, but there was one day he came to me and used the cutest pick up line and asked for my number. Of course I was so surprised I didn't say anything and that was the last time I ever saw him. He never came back to church and several weeks later he committed suicide. I was so upset, even though I knew him very little, and even I eventually fell away from the youth group. I even felt guilty for a long time and thought, if I had given him my number maybe he would have said something too me and I could have helped him or told someone who could have helped him. I've come to peace mostly with this part and it doesn't sting as much, but I still wonder about him and all people that commit suicide and I can't find peace. Where are they now? I was told you have no right to take your life that God gave you, so you go to hell and how could you ask for forgiveness once you've already done that deed? If God is merciful, does he have mercy for those who commit these actions or do they even have the chance to ask for mercy and forgiveness?

Dear Sister,
I am truly sorry about the loss and the experience, I really thought and prayed about your situation and even consulted a pastor for advice. I wish I could give you an answer that would make you smile however the reality is that the consequences of suicide are a biblical principle. However, with that said I do want to take a moment to offer you some encouragement. I don’t know if your friend is suffering in hell, that’s only an answer God can give. The reason why I say this is because I had an opportunity to work with mentally ill patients.I have witness the trauma that is expressed in the eyes of those suffering from schizophrenia. I have also seen into the eyes of those who seem lost in their own bodies due to one missing chromosome. There is little control; physically, spiritually and mentally. I have also seen clinical depression. I have seen grown men cry on their knees asking for help because they can’t control themselves. And I have seen others who cry because they can’t stop the voices in their head. Yes God is a God of judgment but he is a God of mercy and love and he loves every bit of his creation. Some will disappoint him, some will please him. I would like to believe that in the Day of Judgment you’re accountable for what you know. And I would also like to believe that he would keep such illnesses in consideration. Only God knows where your friend is today, as I am sure there was much more to his story that you did not know.  When you stand before God on that day you will give account of …you. What you did to help others and what was done with the gifts he gave you to invest in the world around you. Our trials often become vehicles for ministry, opportunities to manifest the life of Jesus Christ and the reality and power of God. Maybe you’re being called to help those recover from such a tragic loss. It’s not an easy pill to swallow, especially when its truth. But you can learn from it and plant the seed of hope in others to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Be Blessed Sister

Feeling guilty writes:
May 2010
Animated Mailbox Opening and Closing

Dear Sister,
I'm just feeling so bad right now. I've been dealing with this problem I feel like it has beating me to the point I really don't want to do it, but I let it control me I fall so weak to it. Please help me I feel embarrass because it feels abnormal. It's hard to say I really thought I was done with this issue. PLEASE HELP ME! GOD has blessed me with a husband but when my husband is gone I feel like I cheated on him with myself. I'm tired of this controlling me I want to be free from this can you please help me I'm feeling guilty please help what can I do? 
Dear Sister,
There is a lot of arguments in regards to "pleasing oneself" if it’s a sin or not. To clarify it, I usually tell people to ask themselves what are you thinking about that would lead to this behavior. It's not just an action, it’s the thoughts that lead to the action that is the root of the problem. I don’t think about cheating on my diet till I think about how good that chocolate cake would taste and when I think too long, then of course I desire it and in most cases you will find me in the grocery store buying chocolate cake, and then afterwards I feel GUILTY. Romans 12:2 states that we should not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Get your mind off the action, lets target your thinking. What are you thinking about? What is it that you see that brings forth the desire? These are questions you need to ask yourself, pray about it then take action on changing things. For example watching movies that have sexual content, you might want to avoid movies like these.Here is another question for you. Do you believe God is the all present God? Do you believe you never walk alone? Do you believe he loves you and is there for you when you need Him? He is there, ALL THE TIME. That means in those moments, he sees what's going on. Remind yourself of that every time your thoughts go in a direction that might lead you to think. He is your BRIDEGROOM and he is always home watching you. As a child of God, know your benefits. You have control, you were designed to conquer the temptation.  Renew your mind, know that you were born to overcome this temptation. Yes it will be hard, but you will win. All you have to do is remind yourself of who you are and remember who is with you, ALL THE TIME."I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go,"Gen 28:15 AND say as the psalmist once said, "Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand" Psalm 73:23 I pray the words of God pierce your thoughts to create a transformed way of thinking.Be Blessed sister

March 18, 2010

Dear Sister,
 I read many of your questions but all centred on women. I am a man going through trauman as my wife of 11 years marriage worked out of the marriage because I opened a new Ministry in obedience to the call of God. Now I need a woman to be first lady of the Church. Can you help? Any woman out there for me? What is your advise? Lonely Man
Dear Lonely Man,

I noticed you called her your wife of 11 years, and If you believed she was your wife for 11 years why not pray that the Lord reconcile things, and pray for the patience to deal with the circumstance.  If the Lord wanted you to have a First Lady right now, you would have had one already.  Maybe you are being taught patience. You will need the patience that the prodigal son's Father had. The prodigal son's father welcomed his son back with loving arms instead of quickly replacing him and rebuking him for making such a distasteful decision in abandoning his position in the house (Luke15:11-32).   Just because she walked out doesn't mean she will not return. I have walked away from many things in life only to realize that what I walked away from was what I needed and loved, but only by walking away could I get the revelation that I needed to walk back, and it made all the difference in my understanding and respect for what I walked away from. 

Sister & Brother

Wedding Cake

March 8th, 2010


Hello Sister,

I have just started a relationship with a man who I believe could be the "one". We  made it official over a month ago so its still new. But!! A guy who I have been crushing on for over a year and who is really shy finally admitted about a week ago that he has had feelings for me of that of more than just friends for some time now. So now I am in a dilema. How do I know the feelings I have for my new boyfriend are right, and would it be bad if maybe I tried to find out  if I should be with the second guy instead by spending time with him, I mean, I am not married right? Would God consider that "unfaithful" since I am not married to this guy and we are not having relations?



Hello 7,

A very good question. Isn’t it funny that as soon as you find someone, the guy your “crushing” on comes in and is interested. Where was he before you made your commitment? I can relate. This is just like our spiritual life, as soon as you make a commitment to follow Christ what comes knocking at your door? Temptation. Honey sorry to break the news to you, but timing is everything. How you handle this situation is a test of your integrity and your loyalty. If you can’t be faithful in the little how can you be trusted with the grander things in life, like a Husband.

Take a step back and imagine the possibilities. What if you choose to stay loyal and it doesn’t work out? Then you walk away with a learning experience that you can be loyal and your integrity was not compromised and above all this “crush” will respect you and if at that point you move into a relationship; he knows you can be trusted- BECAUSE he saw firsthand your loyalty, despite your feelings.

Second choice will give you the adverse affects. Even if you end up with your “crush” he is always going to remember how you guys started and it will hurt the trust you try to build with him. “she did it to him, what’s to stop her from doing it to me” In the long haul you will wish you had done things differently.

You have made a commitment (“we made it official”), stay loyal to it, despite your emotions. Lust has a way of disguising itself, and as the text in Jeremiah clearly states, our hearts are deceitful, and who can understand it. Don’t let emotions navigate your life, as emotions are unstable. Think it through.

However, if you have doubt of your current relationship, this is what I would suggest. Take 20 minutes and put it in petition to God, then read your bible. It’s loaded with advice on love and God won’t steer you wrong. I personally have given God the authority to choose my mate in his time, because then and only then do I know it will be forever, not short lived. I pray you find your answer. And remember temptation wouldn’t be temptation if it didn’t “feel” good. Once identified you should put a stop to it, don’t feed it by spending time with it and investigating possibilities. Little sins grow up to be big sins.

God bless and I wish you success on your decision, it could be your graduating moment


Graduation Diploma and Tassels

February 2010 

Hello Sister,

I really don't like Valentines day. Its supposed to be a day to remind people of love, but I think it should be called "Single awareness day". Every time I go to church someone wants to remind me that God has someone out there for me, that its just a matter of waiting. But come on... I'm sick of waiting and I'm sick of people pointing out that I'm single. I'm no spring chicken here... How do I get a husband?

Single Lady

Hello Single Lady,

Your in luck, I have the answer for you. Open your bible to Isaiah 54:5-6

"For your Maker is your husband- the LORD Almighty is his name...The LORD will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit- a wife who married young, only to be rejected," Says your God.

I know exactly how you feel, this "Single Awareness day" (By the way I love that) other sisters are hurting and feeling rejected. But when I was in your shoes I had the same question and God brought this scripture to me and it filled me. I no longer felt lonely. Let God husband you.

He will never fail you, reject you, forget you, or fail to acknowledge you. A lot of single women are out there saying, "I want someone to love me, but truly love me. The kind of love that protects, holds, encourages, and will straight out die for me" and while we grieve this complaint to our girl friends, Christ stands right there with his hands in the air saying, "That's me, I love you enough to die for you". He protects, holds, and never fails.

Go to Song of Songs chapter 3, "All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him." I know the feeling.

But it does continue:"...when I found the one my heart loves. I held him and would not let him go"

Your heart will never be content till it finds its desire, and our hearts whether we admit it or not desire God. Let He who your heart cries out to husband you. Get up now and search for him, and don't let go!



January 11, 2010 

Fullname: kenya
comments: I am kenya, a woman with 2 kids married to this man who had already with another woman in my absence,we have been in marriage 4 10years. The man has dumped me with his own children, it's now 3years without seeing him. Am born again and I am a Kenyan woman! Why does this happen to me ...Kenya

Hello Kenya Sister,
One of the questions I asked the most is "why me?" I think I have a pretty good relationship with my heavenly father and when chaos hits I look up with my hands in the air wondering "why me, I thought I was one of your favorites?" (I wish)
I wish I had an answer for you, but only God knows why. But I can tell you how he answered my cries at the time.
He reminded me about the story of the Hebrews leaving Egypt. The scripture said there was a shorter and easier way to the promise land, but God took them another way. At the time, I'm sure they were upset and asked God why. But when all is said and done, you can read the story and look and see and understand that God knew they were not ready for the war. The promise land was theirs but it was coming with an enemy and their journey was going to prepare them.
They had to learn to trust God in the desert; they had to learn to lean on God and not their understanding. It was a learning journey a journey to prepare them to conquer their enemy.
I don't know you or your situation, but I do know God does not want you to suffer. Most of our troubles and suffering comes from a direct result of doing things our way. But God being a God of grace, takes our mess, turns it around and teaches us something no human can teach you. Then it takes us to the next level, with a new mindset, with a new understanding. We can get caught up in the why me, or learn from the experience and grow from our mistakes.
Once you are born again you are like a baby again. There is still a lot of growing up to do, for all of us. Trust God in these moments and know that he has plans, -For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

In his service,

January 2010


Hello Sister,

I work in ministry and I have been feeling a little discouraged lately. Everything seems so hard lately, and now things are changing. I have even found that those who once walked with me, have decided to leave. At times I want to quit because I know how essential they are to the ministry, I can't fill their shoes and I can't do this alone. Now I just feel so like if I continue, it will be in vain because I'm not going to be effective, but as a leader I know I can't give up. What am I to do? I don't feel worthy of such a mission.



Hello Sister,

I really enjoyed reading and praying over your question. There is no perfect church and if you find one, and I show it up I will mess it up. Smile

Even on God's missions we bring our drama along with us. When God called Moses, Moses said he wasn't a good enough speaker. When God called Gideon, Gideon told him he was the least of his tribe that he could surely find better. When God called Paul, Paul said he was the captain of sinners and the least of the apostles. Even the greats were discouraged.

Time for a girly makeover, here are some things to keep in mind and heart:

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength". - Phillipians 4:13(MSG)

"Be strong; show what you are made of! Do what God tells you. Walk in the paths he shows you... then you'll get on well in whatever you do and wherever you go" 1 Kings 2:2-3 (MSG)

Once you start seeing yourself as God's daughter, fully capable of fulfilling the task, because HE WOULDN'T TRUST YOU WITH IT IF HE DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD DO IT. Then your expectations, your self-esteem and even your external appearance will change. Let me know how the new look makes you feel.



December 2009 

Dear Sister,

"I need understanding on christinaty and homosexuality there is an individual who attends church every Sunday pay tithe and appear to have the Holy ghost hit him every now and then. He doesn't appear to be changing he stills were his nails, women clothing, women shoes, makeup like nobody business, but as a Christian it is destracting during service he has been in church long enough to have start peeling off the nails, makeup, etc. who is responiable for telling him or encourage him of what the Bible states about Homosexuality the Pastor or The Missionaries or is he there entertaining. How can this poor fellow be helped OOOOOh he did get permission to join church and if he wants to testify he has to get permission. Maybe I should just continue to mind my own business but is it fair to him."




Hello "Understanding",

First of all this is nothing new, homosexuality has been around for centuries; even in biblical times. You can go back to the book of Deuteronomy all the way through to the New Testament and find a great deal of reference. But I can't quote anything on cross dressing J
You know the saying, "can't judge a book by its cover". Everyone is a book that only God can open, read and understand the pages. Unfortunately all we see is the cover. In the New Testament Jesus compared the Pharisees to beautiful "whitewashed tombs"-they look fine on the outside, but inside there's just death and decay. Matthew 23:27-28
I'm not saying that death and decay is the case with this man. But keep that in mind when deciphering who is who, there's no way to really know the heart of an individual. Some people really think that miracles happen overnight, and in some cases that is correct. But most times it's a process and things happen in God's timing. We also have to keep in mind that every Saint has a past and every sinner has a future. This man has a future.
I don't think I have to explain to you the consequences of sexually immorality; you can turn to 1 Corinthians 6. But one of the things that we as Christians need to understand is that sexual immorality is not outside the body, but against his own body. The Body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God. (vs. 19). That scripture alone should shed clarity on him being touched by the Holy Spirit. I won't put limitations on God, so I won't say that he hasn't been touched by the Holy Spirit. But he still has to go through a very painful process.
Who is responsible for telling him? Every member of the church plays a role in the body of Christ. If you want to be the hands hold him in love. If you want to be the feet, walk across the room and engage a friendship. If you want to be the voice speak with love. Its not about what you say its about how you say it. Your actions along with all the members of the church are responsible. But in love, not demands of what your expectations are, but God's grace. This will be one of those moments where you practice extreme patience. When God truly touches the heart of an individual they change. It says by his fruits you will know; meaning his behavior, actions and etc.
This man has been sculpted by his environment, low self-esteem, maybe even a psychological disorder however the case there is a hard shell to crack and no one but God can crack it. See... My God is a gentleman; He doesn't barge into anyone's life demanding changes. Rev 3: 20 He is the only one who knocks on the door of my heart and waits for me to invite him in. And he isn't a God that can not relate to my suffering, he became flesh and suffered and died for me. That's what needs to be communicated. And it looks like from your note that it is. And it looks like this man is making changes; it's just not as fast as you would like them to be. In my own experience of changes, God has always worked from the inside out. The heart has to change first. If you want to help, love him like Jesus would. Not making demands, knock on the door accept him for who he is and love him like Jesus would. The "word" of God will speak, and strip away in God's timing.
As for you, understand we as Christians need to be careful with distractions. So I'm going to quote this scripture to you. It's when Peter walked with Jesus along the sand, after the resurrection, and Jesus was reinstating him and Peter looked back saying "Lord what about him?" Jesus answered" If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me" John 21:22-23

The next time you see this man; praise God for him being there at church receiving truth, when he can be like others who hide from it. Then be the hand that moves the mighty hand of God in partaking in the power of intercessory prayer. Pray for courage and strength to peel away the fleshly desires and for this man to come face to face with who God intended him to be created in his image. It's going to be great that you're going to be a witness to all this. Be patient sister, all in God's timing. God hates the sin, but loves the sinner.



Hi , there

I need some advice I am a student who doesn't know where to turn things are going down and there's no where I can turn to I can't call on my mom she feels like I am a burden on her I don't have any one to turn to in the time of need but my one true friend which at times I hate to call on because we are mostly stuck in the same problems ? I need help guidance ..from Somebody what am I to do


Hi there somebody,

First, I am sorry you feel this way. I pray that you and your mom can work on restoring your relationship where it is not a burden on anyone. As for your situation in regards to "things going down and nowhere to turn" I can identify with you.

I found myself recently feeling attacked and very vulnerable. I spent more days crying over the situation than contemplating a solution. However, one morning I found this scripture and a teaching that picked up my spirits. I hope it does the same for you.


Math 10:16

16I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore, be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves

Print these four things out and keep it handy

1. Understand as Christians we are always going to be attacks. We live in a world full of wolves.

2. Identify your emotions. If you are angry, depressed, filled with anxiety, anxious, hurting these are all feelings of attack on your spirit.

3. Remember the word of God. In the book of Isaiah God speaks that you are never alone. In the book of Romans God reminds you that you are conqueror. Remember Gods word and remember that God knows everything and has a plan. He will use this extremely painful or lonely situation to produce growth in you. He will use it for His good.

4. And to conclude understand, identify, remember and integrate this into your walk.  The November newsletter has more detail on this topic, please take time to read it.


One final thought, turn to your friend. God gave us each other, to talk, to share, to lift each other up. No one can identify with you unless they know what you're going through and your best friend can identify with you. We are each other's miracles, and once yours is complete, your mission is to help the next person undergoing the same.

So what are you to do? Turn to the word of God and share. Pain shared is pain lessened on everyone. Cast your burdens on to the man who can handle it. Moreover, if you need to talk, turn to a friend, and do not hesitate to reach out to ZDOD, we are here to help.




 October 2009

Sister- Why does a good God allow evil to exist? -Confused 
Dear Confused-I know sometimes its hard to look around and see if God is in the midst of all this mess, but He definitely is. When God created humanity He created us to love  Him. However in order to have genuine love, a love that is unconditional not forced he gave us free will. God gave us the liberty to choose Him or reject him. The evil that surrounds us is the result of our (humanity) selfishness. And if we really took a moment to look at the evil that hides within our own hearts we would beg for God's mercy and exalt him all the more. If God chose to eliminate all the evil in the world would we be here?
 I like the way Dorothy Sayers writes it : "For whatever reason God chose to make man as he is— limited and suffering and subject to sorrows and death—He had the honesty and the courage to take His own medicine. Whatever game He is playing with His creation, He has kept His own rules and played fair. He can exact nothing from man that He has not exacted from Himself. He has Himself gone through the whole of human experience, from the trivial irritations of family life and the cramping restrictions of hard work and lack of money to the worst horrors of pain and humiliation, defeat, despair and death. When He was a man, He played the man. He was born in poverty and died in disgrace and thought it well worthwhile" (Dorothy Sayers, Creed or Chaos? New York, Harcourt Brace, 1949, p. 4). The good news is that although Evil is here its temporary, it will be destroyed. This is the hope of the believer. There is a new world coming in which there will be no more tears or pain because all things will be made new. Rev 21:5. Today is not how God designed it, the fall of manmade the world abnormal. But keep the faith as God is your refuge. 


Dear Sister,
I have discovered a pattern in my life of sexual abuse. Now I am a single mother and live on the defensive side when it comes to my children. Today I am healed of my history and have learned to trust, but I find it creeping back into my life in different forms. It has been the reoccurring theme of discussion lately, and I find my children battling forms of it. I just thank God that he has been opening my eyes to catching things early before they get out of hand. My kids are well protected, however I am dealing with an anxiety that grips my soul. What should I do? Seeking guidance

Dear seeking guidance,
There is such a thing as an enemy, and there is such a thing as strongholds. And to destroy such strongholds you have to call onto a divine power. (2 Corinthians 10:4). First I'm extremely happy that God is in the midst of all this and making you aware of what has been happening. Most parents are blind to the painful reality and when it surfaces a lot of damage is done. Sexual abuse happens to be one of the scars that is extremely hard to recover from. Most people go their entire life seeking healing. Some sadly never find it, and statistics have the worst outcome planned for them. But we, as Christians, know the worlds views don't apply to us.
Now this is my guidance to you. Anoint your home and your family. Hold a family meeting and pray specifically naming the issue at hand and include this fear that you described binding you. Sister you have successfully rised above the abuse, don't let the enemy bind you in fear. It is a possibility that the reoccurring theme is to prepare you. God's glory spills through you and maybe God wants you to be the vessel to bring other sisters, and brothers who have suffered the same to his healing hands. There is so much abuse going on that goes unrecorded because of shame; sexual abuse is one of them. "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7. Exercise the spirit of power and love.

Have no fear, I really believe God is going to use you in a phenomenal way. When you feel the grip, recite Gods word. When you feel anxiety cancel the plans that have formed against you. And when you see a hurting soul that you can identify with, show them where you found your healing. We will be praying for you, and I know this will require great discipline on your part, but you have overcome so much already; I have no doubts in your success. let your light shine.


August 2009

Dear Sister,

I have been in a relationship for four years, everything was lovely.  Two years into the relationship my partner became a different person, so different that he did the unspeakable thing.  When he decided to walk out of the relationship, he robbed me.  He took all my life saving and left.  How can I help myself to recover the loses?  T. T.


Dear T. T.

We all have sin and come short of the Glory of God.  Your relationship with this person may have been great in the beginning, but somethimes we fail to include the most important person, which is our Lord Jesus Christ.  Psalms 118:8 says, "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man". I know you are feeling betrayed, because you loss your savings, but this is the time to put your trust in God.  I can't tell you this is going to be easy...because you are hurt. Therefore I am asking you to seek God's face for a healing in this matter.  Even talk to a mature christian to vent out your frustration, but refuse to let this situation control you, because if you do, you are allowing this person to have control over your life.  Through Jesus Christ is the only way we can rebuild and restore. In this hope, you may not receive all that you desired back, but you have something that is more valuable than any materialistic thing you can ever possess; a relationship with God.  With this relationship favor becomes fairness and fairness becomes faith. May God release you of this pain.   Sister

Dear Sister, I am a servant of God and have been so for the past 43 years of my life. I serve in many ministries at my church and carry out several responsibilities almost daily. I am a teacher and love my job as a kindergarten teacher. I am also a widow with three teens who are now beginning to establish their independence. Lately I have been feeling so lonely for a companion that I can really relate to. I am constantly surrounded by Christian brothers and sisters and family whom I share with daily. But that’s not enough. After being with one man, my first and one and only, for almost 20 years I am constantly fighting off the enemies claws on me to lust and want to seek for men. Only In God's holy presence am I completely satisfied but  it can get very difficult to maintain pure thoughts when I miss my hubby sooooo much. Please help me pray for the Lord’s time. I believe my next partner is already in God's plan whatever it may be ...I am willing to wait on him. But I need prayer to fight lust and physical desires that want to take over my spirit ...specially when loneliness strikes. BLESS U!!
Alone in the company of many 
Dear “Alone in the company of many" I read your comment and let me tell you that I really understand where your coming from. Therefore, you are not alone. I can imagine that with teenage kids, who I assume at this time are looking to date, probably just adds to the feeling of being lonely. Or remind you that you’re single. In addition, I admire your honesty in letting us know your inner battle. The truth is you are never alone, every time you cry for companionship the good Lord holds his hand out to you. Every time you desire to feel ultimate love, Jesus reminds you that he died specifically because he loves you. Moreover, every time lust creeps in, it is a reminder that the enemy knows you are important to God, which is why he is spending so much time and energy to remind you that physically you are single. However, spiritually you are in “GOOD COMPANY” And of course, we will pray. Lord Heavenly Father I ask that you put your hand upon my sister who is in company of the one who truly matters, YOU. I pray for all the sisters that are lonely, for all the sisters who desire company and love. I pray that you equip them with the wisdom and discernment to overcome temptation, for your word states that where there is temptation you have provided a way out. We declare that the enemy’s effort to derail us, to distort your promise is and forever will be in vain. Through you, all is possible, including your victory in moments of our weakness.  Shed light on that way Lord, put your heavenly hand upon their hearts, and reveal that your timing and promise is on the way, to hold steady and know you are a God who is and forever will be with us. We are not alone. And we will overcome, through your power, and to reveal your glory, our sisters in Christ will overcome. In Jesus name we pray, Amen. To God be all the Glory! Amen. 

July 2009 
Q. Dear Sister,

I'm not going to sugar coat, I, at one time slept around and most people know that. But things have changed. I really am striving to make things right, but even my own family reminds me of my past. And being single doesn't help either cause the wrong type of man is always expecting from me what I will no longer do. But with everyone reminding me of who I once was, I'm remembering it and now I beat myself up for it. I feel so unworthy, and now look at myself with no hope. If God did bless me with a husband I would probably reject it, as now I see myself as a burden even a curse to the man who might even want me. My past haunts me and I don't know what to do?


A. Dear Lost,

One of the stories I love most is the story of the woman who was caught committing adultery. If you have not read it, go to John 8: 1-11. The scripture states, that it was the teachers of the law and the Pharisees who brought her before Jesus; publicly announcing her crime. The scripture says Jesus knelt down to write in the sand, and sometimes in my own mind I imagine him writing down, "where's the man". I am not redirecting any blame here, as the only person we have control over, is ourselves. However, I am pointing out a reality in referencing this scripture. Jesus stood up before the men of the law and Pharisees, who were considered in that time, men you wanted and needed to listen to, and said, "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her". One by one, starting with the oldest they walked away. Today woman still deal with that. In a secular society, men are glorified for their misuse of intimacy with woman, while woman are dragged through the mud. Those who remind you probably desire company to their hidden misery of sin. Often we remember what we should forget and forget what we should remember. Remember in God's eyes, you are one of his prized possessions, once lost and neglected, but now found your way back home. Remember God adores you and stands before you already knowing your confession saying, "I do not condemn you, go and sin no more". You are not a burden or a curse. When God sends you, your husband, it is because he knows you will be a blessing to him as he will be the same to you. Just remember who you are today, and keep fighting the good fight. Do not let anyone rob you of your blessings. I will be praying for you.


June 2009
Posted May 27,2009

Dear Sister,

I am a Sis. B from Kenya, have been working as a bar maid for 10 yrs, happened to be in love with several men! I am now an affected woman mentally & spiritually. Have not given my life to Christ and I hear of His coming!! What do I do? Sister B

Dear Sister B,

Jesus loves you! He is here right now, to heal and mend you mentally and spiritually. He will never distance Himself from you. He is waiting with arms open to be accepted in your heart. Confess with your mouth.... Roman 10: 9. GOD IS COMING, AND WE MUST BE READY! The Word of the Lord says, "A man that find a wife, He find a good thing - Proverb 18:22. Stand firm and hold on to the word of God. Let him direct your steps and you can not go wrong. This is one of the repentance prayers: Believe this prayer when you repeat it out loud:

"Dear Lord, I, (put your name here) come to you as a sinner, Please forgive me for my sins, for I have done wrong. I believe that you died on the cross of Calvary, and shed your blood for me. You rose again on the third day; therefore I am saved by grace and not of myself. I ask you to come into my life and lead me and guide me through your Holy Spirit. I believe at this moment that I am a new creature in you Lord Jesus. Thank you, Lord Jesus for saving me. Amen

 I recommend you to seek counseling from Pastor Paul. Sister

Ask A Sister Archives Below
Febuary 2008

February 2008

Q: Dear Sister,

I am having mixed emotions about a guy who I just met. He seems to be everything that I want in a man, but somehow I can't see myself going any further than friendship. Sometimes I want to be his mate and sometimes I want to keep the relationship as "just" friends. What am I suppose to do in order to keep from hurting him? Confused 3


A: Dear Confused 3
You are dealing with mix emotions because there is either someone or something in your life that is a priority and you feel that if you go further you will miss out on what is really for you. I know sometimes this can be difficult, but for now, you probably need to keep this relationship on a friendship basis until you can become stable minded on the situation. Pray and Seek guidance from God, so you can see the situation more clearly. Sometimes, God put people in our life to be "just" a friend, but our emotions tend to want more. Who knows.... this man could be for you...wait on an answer from God. God cares for you...and wants the best for you. SISTER


Q: Dear Sister
I am a save woman, but have a difficult time dealing with my past. I believe it is because my children keep bring it up to me. I want them to see me as the new creature. I love my children. I need desperate help...because this is wearing me down spiritually. Dee Dee


A: Dear Dee Dee
Sometimes it is very difficult to deal with your past. The first thing you must do is forgive yourself and realize that God has forgiven you for the things you have done. I don't know if you have done this or not...sometimes we need to go to our children individually and listen to their hurt, in turn let them know that your behavior in the past was not of God. Also inform them that you are a new creature and that sometimes you will make mistakes, but your desire is to please God. Ask them to forgive you for allowing Satan to use you to hurt them. I believe if you let them know your hurt too, it will make a difference in the deliverance of your forgiveness with them. SISTER

MARCH 2008  
 Q: Dear Sister,
I am a single lady and I have become addicted to porn. I have tried to break this habit but I find myself going back to it every now and then. I am ashamed of this problem but do not know how to break it. I am too ashamed to reveal it to anyone, even my pastors. What Should I do? Poohbear

A: Dear Poohbear,
Pornography definitely causes us to lust after the flesh, and it is a lust of the eyes. These are two of the attributes of Satan that are after to destroy you. Lusting after other people in our minds is offensive to God (Matt. 5:28). God can give you victory over Satan tactics: (1) confess your sin to God (1John 1:9) (2) pray for God to cleanse, renew and transform your mind (Roman 12:2). (3) Ask God to fill your mind with Philippians 4:8 (4) Learn to possess your body in holiness (1Thessalonians 4:3-4) (5) Realize that if you walk in the spirit, you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh (Galatians 5:16). (6) Take practical steps to reduce your exposure to graphic images (install pornography blockers on your computer, limit television and video usage, find a Holy Ghost filled Christian who will pray for you and help keep you accountable. Sister

Q: Dear Sister,
It has been hard trying to deal with church hurt. I have rededicated my life to God, forgiven myself & the people that hurt me in the church, but I find myself being put back in the same situation. I know it's just a test, but I still feel hurt sometimes. Babe

A: Dear Babe,
As long as you live there are going to be someone hurting you, especially in the church. This walk is not about you; it's about Jesus, and whom you possess. When Jesus chose the twelve disciples, one of them betrayed him; this was done so that the church could be perfected through Jesus. Suffering doesn't feel good, but it is medicine for our bodies to transform into the likeness of Christ. Sometimes God is trying to get us to see ourselves in the mirror, so that we can grow-up. If Jesus would have gave up when he was betrayed, the promise would have never been fulfilled. Peter said," Beloved, think it not strange concerning fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy" (I Peter 4:12-13). Remember: Peter was talking to the church...you are not alone. Pray without ceasing and love without conditions. Sister

Q: Dear Sister,
When you have done everything that you know to do to get your spouse to show you affection and he does not and you talk to him about it. He does not see the problem so you stop trying because of the rejected feeling that you have to endure then eventually he does, but you are receptacle because you are not sure if he is showing affection or is he just doing this to satisfy his own needs and is going to ignore you until he need you again . Please advice or discuss. Unknown

A: Dear Unknown,
I am assuming this person is your spouse. Some men have not been taught how to be affectionate. This is when we as women have to help them...but it takes patience on our part. Yes, sometimes you will feel liked you are being used, but that's Satan's way of getting you to give up. In your perseverance include kind acts, forgiveness, prayers for your spouse daily. "You have not because; because you ask not". Some of the simplest things God want us to ask him for. True affection starts inward (heart thing). Proverbs 21:1, "The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will." Let God do the turning, and then there will be no disappointments. Keeping loving your spouse and let God do the changing. It does work! Sister

 APRIL 2008

Q: Dear Sister,I want to stop smoking and it's very hard to do. What can I do? I have tried everything to stop. I'm at a stand still at this moment. I know that God can do anything...please help!!! Ms. Pee Wee

Q: Dear Sister,
Hello: My question tonight is I want to stop smoking. I know that it's not good for me or my husband. I let that old devil have his way and I know that I can beat him but with the help from the Sisters of Zion, I can beat this thing once and for all. SOMEONE IN NEED OF PRAYER

Satan wants to destroy you slowly with smoking. Smoking is a habit and it has to be broken. It is not God's plan for us to smoke. Now that you want to quit you are actually going to war with the devil. It is up to you how long you want to be in this battle, because you already have the victory through Jesus Christ. If you want to be free completely you must first bound Satan in the name of Jesus, then every bit of your commanding authority, command Satan to depart from you and the addiction to smoking to depart from your body. Satan is an intruder in your home (body). Your body is the temple of God. Satan wants to corrupt the holy temple of God. As long as Satan is renting out a space in your body, you will never see the full work of the Holy Ghost. Weaning off of smoking is just prolonging Satan to have residence to inviting his visitors (sins) occasionally. Stand strong. James 4:7 "Submit yourselves unto God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." Sister

 MAY 2008


Q: Dear Sister,
I have a friend that have a sickness just like I do. I care a lot about him. I don't want to let him go because he is very loving and care about me also. He understands what I'm going through and vice-versa. What shall I do about our relationship? DD

 Q: Dear Sister,
I have a friend that have a sickness just like I do. I care a lot about him. I don't want to let him go because he is very loving and care about me also. He understands what I'm going through and vice-versa. What shall I do about our relationship? DD

A: Dear DD,
Fleshly part of us wants to think about our feelings and emotions. Search your heart and see if this is God's will for you. Sometimes God allow people to come into our lives for a reason and sometimes a season. I believe when male friends comes into a woman's life, it is not always for an intimate relationship. God knows our needs, therefore this male friend could be in your life to help you fill the void of loneliness in your sickness. Don't confuse your emotions with the need for a friend. Remember: God will not put someone in your life to stray you away from him...God longs to keep his relationship with you. If you feel you can't separate your intimate feelings from friendship...maybe it is time to wean away from this friend. Sister

Q: Dear Sister,

I just stepped out of a 7 year relationship. I am dealing with it the best way I know how at this point. My prayer is for guidance, because I am doing the best thing to end this, and I believe God opened this window for me. On the other hand, I don't know if I am walking away too soon. Please pray for me. I am hurt and burnt out. PRAY FOR ME

I am feeling that you stepped out of this relationship because you felt it was not right. God is dealing with you about this person. What you are doing is hindering your spiritual and physical blessings, but you feel you have wasted too many years in this relationship. Believe it or not, you have not wasted years, look at it as gaining wisdom. God has a plan for you and a mate for you that will not kill you mentally. This relationship has been a constant battle for you, but I can feel that you love him and every time he hurts you, you began to walk out but not completely, because your soul has tided with him. God opened the window for you to make a change. But you must remember, that Satan gives us ideals to close the window so we want have a since of freedom in what God has plan for us. Be very prayerful Sister, because the enemy (Satan) wants you to stay in bondage. Sister

 JUNE 2008

Q: Dear Sister,
If God gives you a gift, it's yours right? No man can take it away from you, correct? However is it possible that you can throw away a gift and never get it back? Or possibly kill it? Say for example a single person receives a partner, a gift from God. But that single person don't know how to take care of that gift, or personal issues surface that hurt that gift. Moses was promised the promise land, but never got it. So disobedience can keep you from receiving your promise. But can you get it back? Can you change and work at it again? Can you oversleep for a divine appointment? Curious

A: Dear Curious,Our selfishness can cause us to neglect a gift. God is not a person to give you something and take it back. Once God gives you something it is yours for life. Our behavior causes us to not see the fullness of a gift in our life. Moses' disobedience caused him not to see the promise land. You see, our actions can cause you not to receive what God has for you. It can be right in your hand...but slips away quickly through your behavior. Can God restore your gift? This is up to God. God sees the deep heart of man... we only see the surface. If you be willing and obedient you shall eat the good of the land. Change can cause God to relent toward restoration. Pray for forgiveness, turn, change, and let God do the rest! Sister

Q: Dear Sister,
How do you get over being hurt by a man that just use you for what you can offer him, but you fell in love and now he wants to be a friend and pretends not to care how you feel... Lock-up in Love

A: Dear Lock-up in Love,
Hurt takes time to heal. In order for hurt to diminish, you first must separate from the hurt. As long as you constantly communicate with this man, feelings will continue to be stirred up. When you fall in love with someone it doesn't happen overnight, so the feelings are not going to go away overnight. I strongly believe this man is trying to get back into your life as a friend, because he doesn't want to make a commitment. If you open the window for friendship...the door for relationship will swing open again. It is impossible for a once "in love relationship" to become "just friends". Don't give in to him! Tell your flesh...No! Don't let this "friendship gimmick" allow you to be used again. My advise to you is to spend more time building your relationship with God, because God knows who, where, when and how to give you a mate. Sister

 July 2008

Q: Dear Sister,
How do you get yourself to stop loving someone who obviously doesn't want you anymore? How do you just stop! I want to fall out of love, how do I do that? How do you let go? Hurt

A: Dear Hurt,
Loving someone is a heart thing. Once someone is in your heart it takes time for the heart to heal. To stop being in love doesn't happen overnight, but I do know that you can overcome this hurt that is marinating inside of you. Falling out of love is a process. The first step is to ex-communicate yourself from this person, because every-time you communicate with them, you will rekindle the fire that was once between you two. If you happen to see them, speak and move on. Don't try to conversant. Another step is to try to eliminate any possessions that gives you thoughts or revives memories of the times you had together. Avoid talking to others about the situation unless they are helping you to overcome, because sometimes even a conversation can cause you to feel guilty about the relationship. While doing all the above, continue to pray and spend quality time with God, because the more you keep your mind off the situation, the expedite the healing process will take place. Sister

Q: Dear Sister,
I lost a child a few years ago. I am still blaming God for the hurt that he caused me. I can't even get close to God anymore because of the anger. Please....please...help! Lost

A: Dear Lost,
Losing a child is not an easy burden to carry, but I do know that God doesn't make mistakes. You are blaming God because you couldn't control the situation. Anything we can't control we blame someone else. First, you must forgive yourself for blaming God. God understands your hurt and pain. He told us in his word "Cast all your cares upon me". God is understanding...talk to Him and let him know that you are blaming Him...ask God to forgive you for your anger. The anger is not going to go away instantly, but the pain will soon diminish as you start communicating to God your true feelings. Also, try to find a mature Christian or minister that can help you bare this burden through prayer. You will overcome this...and soon you will realize that your anger was a reaction of your pain. God has the child's spirit, but you have the child in your heart. Sister

August 2008
Q: Dear Sister,I have backslid for many years and I have repented of my sins deeply but have been unable to feel forgiven. I have been terrified that I crossed the line and that Hebrews ch 6 verses 4-6 apply to me.I have been fighting terror and despair that I am damned for and without hope for almost two years now.I believe only Jesus can take this away but I wonder if He will. I want to serve Jesus again with all my heart ,yet I feel cast out ,like I am beyond grace now.I desperately hope it is not too late for me. How can I get my faith back especially when I fear I crossed the line by living backslid-den and lukewarm for years.I want my faith back as I know Jesus is the way the truth and the life.How can I get rid of the deep pain and terror of feeling lost and fearing I committed the unpardonable sin and instead have faith and hope again.The deep pain has been so oppressive it has been wrecking my life. I think this pain and hopelessness has created strong holds that are very strong and resistant to overcome. Please Pray for me. Linda

A: Dear Linda,

We have all sin and come short of the glory of God. The reason you are feeling guilty because you haven't forgave yourself. God is always willing to forgive us. Salvation is a "heart" thing. As I read your question I feel you have a desire to please God, but you keep allowing your flesh and Satan to attack you will your past behavior. If you have truly repented of your sins...faith in God gives us the victory and The Grace in God's eyes gives us the favor. There is nothing you can do are say to gain God's favor. When you believe God has forgiven you, than your faith becomes restored. It is through Jesus Christ that we are justified. So wipe your tears and grab hold of the faith that God placed in you from the beginning. Ask God to renew your strength...remember this is a "faith" walk not a "feeling" walk. It is Satan's job to steal your joy through pitiful emotions. Hebrews 6 does apply to you, because...God is saying to you...you don't have to get save all over again...just repent...and walk through his Grace and Mercy. Remember "David" in Psalm 51. Sister

 Q: Dear Sister,

I recently experienced heart ache in a relationship, and a few weeks have passed and I'm healing. He still comes to mind and I miss him but we don't talk at all anymore.We said our good bye and parted and there has been silence ever since. But recently I saw a man that was wearing a ring that you find at the Christian book store. I complimented it and moved on, but someone tried to play match maker later because it was obvious he was attracted to me and I definitely thought he was handsome. So here I sit with a business card in my hand and his cell phone written behind it. He asked my friend to give it to me with instructions to call him. And I don't know if I should call. It seems too soon and although I feel strong only God knows how vulnerable my heart is. So I decided to pray for an answer and while praying the thought of "Ask a Sister" came to mind. I can't let my own desires cloud Godly judgement. Would it be a bad move to call right now? Heart-ache

 A: Dear Heart-ache,

Since you recently just came out of a relationship, I feel you need to give yourself a refresher break or you will end up repeating the same acts. If this person is God sent, then this one moment or business card delay want affect it, because God has a time for everything. Sometimes the wrong timing can delay the right moment. Spend more time with God...so that another relationship won't be just another band-aid. Sister

 Q. Dear Sister, I work in a home with people who are mentally challenged, some mentally disabled. And one of my co-workers asked me that if one of them should die, do they go to heaven or to hell. They spend all their time in hospital and some really don't understand anything, so how do I answer such a difficult question? Respite Worker
A. Dear Respite Worker,

God doesn't desire that any man perish, but every man had a right to everlasting life. I believe God treats mentally challenged or disable people like children. God knows there limits and capacities. He deals with each one of us according to knowledge. Pray for salvation for them, because God has his way of communicating with them on their level. The same way He communicated with baby Moses (keeping him quiet) when he was flowing in a dangerous river, God will communicate with the mentally challenged and disabled to lead them toward Him. Sister

Q. Dear Sister,

Currently, I am meeting great guys lately, as a Christian female in the dating pool, things can be quite tempting. I want to stay Godly and let my light shine while communicating with the following guys. I am aware of my boundaries as a Christian but I am concerned about whether God wants me to be in the dating pool with or shall I wait on him. Do I need to mingle? I know that the man that God has for me is not going to "meet me at my front door." Although, I don't want the following guys to get the wrong impression about me and I want to let my light shine. How do I stay single and mingle without losing the Godly light? Sincerely

A. Dear Sincerely,If you put yourself in a dating pool, you are putting yourself in a position for your flesh to dominate you. Your desire is to please God...but it feels good to have guys communicating with you. Most females' desire attention from the opposite sex, but too much attention can cause you to miss out on what God has for you. Your focus should be on pleasing God...and if your light was really showing to these guys they wouldn't even desire to date you, because a Holy Ghost filled man isn't looking for a date he is looking for a mate, vice- versa. So read between the lines...a dating pool is for fools. Fools don't want the real-thing, they only want the moment of feeling good...what do you do after that? Date again...and again...until your reputation is beyond repair.

Q:  Dear Sister,

I am writing to you with a heavy heart, no where to turn and my thoughts running wild. All my life I have tried to do what's right, I've tried my best to make others happy before myself, to treat others how I want to be treated and to trust people openly. And after all of that I feel I have gotten nowhere, I feel empty. I am thinking of leaving the area I currently reside in and starting over in a new setting, both for me and my child. But by leaving I guess I'm running from the problems. But is it truly considered running from my problems if I've tried to fix them? I will not say that I am a Christian like most people like to claim because I still mess up in his eyes, I am a Christian in training. And am I giving up too soon? I am facing a very bad outcome for my child if I don't do something fast, but at this moment I have been wedged in a corner wearing a blindfold with my hands and feet cuffed together with not one soul in sight to direct me. Could this be a test? Am I giving up on everyone and everything too soon? How can I be a good mother to my child if my problems put me someplace I don't wanna be.  Hurt and Confused

A:  Dear Hurt and Confused,

It looks like you are at the point of giving up, but do you know this is the time that God can really work in your life, because now you are at breaking point…a place where God can truly work miracles in your life.  You are probably analyzing everything in your life right now; the choices that you made…whether wise or foolish.  I would not advise you to flee unless God told you too.  I think at this moment you need to stand still.  Try to focus on you and your son.  Since you say you are not a Christian like most people, than the first step is to get to know Jesus Christ as your personal Savior.  Pray and ask God to lead you in the right direction…God does hear a sinners prayer.  Then, plan to attend a church regularly to get to know The God head even more.  Your answer is to “TRY GOD”.  Don’t run away from your blessings…run into your blessings.  The difficult time you are facing is only preparing you to be in the obedience of God and take you to the riches of life he has stored up “just for you”.    Sister

Q:  Dear Sister,

I am having a difficult time with my baby’s daddy.  I am married to another man who treats my daughter just like his own, but the real daddy wants to come around when he feels like it.  He even said that he would do his best to get custody of his daughter if he can’t come whenever he wants too.  I have a good man in my life and I do not want this situation to mess up my relationship with him.   My husband and I fight all the time about my daughter’s daddy being at the house when he is not there.  It has become a burden on me, because I do not hate my daughter's daddy…we are friends, but my husband don’t like the idea of him coming over all the time.  I don’t want my daughter’s daddy anymore.  How can I gain the trust from my husband and allow my daughter to continue to see her daddy?  Sweety

A:  Dear Sweety,In this situation, you need to sit down and have a talk with your husband about your daughter’s daddy.  Ask him what would be the appropriate way to handle your daughter’s daddy.  By doing this you are allowing your husband to take charge of his household and in-turn also, receive an agreeable solution to the problem.   I know you want your daughter to see her daddy, but remember…you had soul ties with this man in the past.  Sometimes men can use children and an excuse to kindle up old flames.  You don’t want to give your daughter’s daddy mix feelings about his relationship with you.  Constantly pray to God to help you to be a good wife and mother…He will guide you to have peace in your home.

September 16, 2008

 Q.  Dear Sister,  Hi, I’m pregnant for the first time at 41.  And I’m not sure I want to go through with it because of the dad.  I want to know, is abortion forgiven?   Scared
A.   Dear Scared,  Children are a blessing from God.  Even if you fornicated and conceived; the act is a sin but not the conceived child.  Abortion is murder in the sight of God and if you are contemplating on an abortion, then you are premeditating murder.  God doesn’t want you to destroy life…for he is the author of life.  This child could be one of God’s chosen ones.  Would you like to be responsible for getting in the way of God’s plan? God is a forgiving God…but his consequences for sin can be fatal. All souls belong to God…God told Jeremiah “before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee” Jeremiah 1:5. Don’t let the devil persuade you into getting an abortion.  I’m sure there are other alternatives that would allow this child to live.  Seek some professional counseling, but don’t let the enemy tell you to murder.  Sister

October 2008 Q:  Dear Sister,I am having a difficult time with my husband at this time. I lost my job and he doesn’t seem to understand.  Our bills are up to the sealing.  But, I think he is the man.  I shouldn’t have to work.  We constantly argue about me spending money and about the bills not being paid on time.  I shouldn’t deprive myself of things because he isn’t being the man and paying all the bills.  I am just a “help mate”.  When I tell my husband, “I am not suppose to be working”, he tells me “We both made the bills…we both need to pay them”.  Am I wrong for not wanting to work and help? Rescue
A:  Rescue,Sister, the problem in this situation is you.  You must realize that you don’t have a job, so try to accommodate your life style in those means.  If you are not working, then don’t spend money unnecessary.  If you desire to stay home, then help your husband to pay off unnecessary debt.  Now, this will mean you getting a job and helping out.  Your husband is right…both of you need to work things out to get out of debt.  Yes, you should stop spending excessively on things that you don’t really need. Sometimes men need proof of you not spending compulsively, so, sit down with your husband and go over the bills and allow him to control the situation…not you.   If you start being wise with the money you have, then you will find yourself letting go of the careless spending. Once you get accustom to less spending the more you become content.  This is when you can put yourself in a position for your husband to be the man and probably say,” Honey you don’t have to work.”   Try being more considerate of your husband and commend him for trying.  If you be wise with what you have…the arguing will stop and you will have more peace in your home.   Sister

November 2008 
Q:  Dear Sister, I met someone recently who claims to be an atheist. I think he is agnostic.  Out of curiosity I asked why? As he presented his case I would offer in love and compassion what he was overlooking in his conclusion. It was the first time ever someone of faith spoke to him with respect. He told me horrible stories of how people would send him straight to hell once he said that he was atheist.  And this was probably the first time he met a "Christian" that didn't wish him harm for rejecting their God. Is God not the God of all creation including our brothers and sisters who are lost? "lost sheep" are they not valued as well? How do we open up the eyes of our churches that atheist are not the enemy. Agnostics are not the enemy. As a Christian I’m ridiculed for having a friend that doesn't believe in God. I pray for him, I want him to be saved and every moment with him is a moment to introduce God's glory. Why do we think atheist or agnostics are the enemy? I don't understand!

this. Do we all not come from the same God. Why are there more Christians hurting than loving?   Have Mercy

 A:  Dear Have Mercy,

Sometimes we as Christians fell to realize that we were once non- believers.  An atheist, agnostic, and the non-believer will bare the same consequences in the end. It was the Grace and Mercy of God through Jesus that gave us the right to go before His throne.  It is strange how we can beat up and atheist or agnostic person  because he or she don’t believe in God , but have mercy on believers who strays away from God or believe there is a God but fail to live a clean life before God.  Tell me something…aren’t we being hypocritical when we beat up an atheist for not believing?  “True Believers” don’t hurt non-believers…they live a life before them with Love, because it was the love of God that justified us as righteous through His son Jesus Christ.  Sometimes we forget that we were once purged from our sins (Some of us need to be reminded of our past condition so we can have grace and mercy on others…Titus 3: 1-5).   Sister

Q:  Dear Sister,

I have come to a point in my life where I feel alone in my faith. The only time I feel that I belong is at church, but at school no one believes the way I do. There are those who know of God, but do not know him. Does that make sense? God speaks and warns and my mom has brought me and my brother there. But I do want to fit in at school. But I don't want to loose my self and hide my faith. My mom can't afford a private school where I can be among believers. My school is mixed with Buddhist, Hindu, atheist, post modern, what my mom calls as luke warm Christians and then there are maybe 2 or 3 Christians. I just want to belong, can you give me advice.    ALONE

A:  Dear   ALONE,You belong to God.  Sometimes we are going to be in situations that cause us to feel like our faith is isolated. This is a test.  We must learn to adjust to people‘s personalities and differences, But don’t let them dim your light!  The devil knows that there is a God…and he trembles.  But in order to really know God you must go beyond believing.  Discipleship must take place in your life.  You have to build your relationship with God.  Start yearning to know more and more about God, and then apply it to your life.  This could very well mean standing alone.  But you are not alone, because if God be for you …who can be against you? Stand up for your faith; trust your mom’s decisions.  It is obvious that she knows what she has put into her child.  Jesus was among many that didn’t believe in him, but his life, love and kindness convicted many into becoming true believers (practicing the word of God). Be a doer of the word and not just a hearer.  SisterQ: Dear Sister,

I’m sure every sister can relate to this. There is a guy who really likes me and he carries amazing qualities that I like, however the chemistry is not there. Now I feel stuck. He doesn’t deserve to be hurt nor lied to, but every-time the subject comes up his eyes well up with tears and I can't bring myself to hurt him. But I know if I stay in this longer it will only get worse. I want to love him, but I can't, it’s not something I can force. But I don't want to hurt him either. I have to get out, but I don't know how.  RELATE


Breaking a relationship never feels good on either party, but someone has to do it, especially if there is no chemistry.  It is better to break the bond, now than later. The more you put off telling him the truth…the more you are digging a hole that will be difficult to climb out.  Let this be a learning lesson for you.  Sometimes our emotions can carry us out into the deep ocean. Then we find ourselves floating all alone.   Christian women should seek the will of God, especially for a companion, because if the person is not your ordained mate, you are just wasting time and could very well miss out on your blessing. Try to be cautious next time.  Seek God for your mate.  Everything that is good is not of God.  But everything of God is GOOD!  Sister

Q: Dear Sister,

My boyfriend left me. He told me he needs time to think of his feelings and that was that. He isn't seeing anyone but everyone has an opinion and I love him too much to let him go. I’m giving him space but I truly believe we are meant to be together. He is going through a spiritual battle and everyone tells me to let it go. I found out recently that my ex who dabbles in witchcraft now left a marking on the door of our home, and I think it affected him. Everyone thinks I'm nuts but he is who I want. I don't want anyone else, and it hurts me that he won’t talk to me, but I truly believe that something evil has affected him. And everyone around me tells me to let it go. But I can't. What do I do?   LOST LOVE

 A: Lost Love,When God ordains a man in your life, you will know it.   He won’t need space or time to think about it, because the footsteps of the righteous are guided by God.  Allow this boyfriend the space he desires, meanwhile, sort God for an answer to this matter.  It is sometimes good to consult with a mature Christian to pray will you (Someone who is not attached to the situation).  Sometimes your emotions tell you “yes”, but God is showing you “no” by the actions shown through that person.  God sees the future you only see the moment.  If this boyfriend left you…think twice about it, maybe his rejection is God’s protection.  If he is hurting you now…Ask yourself, “is this person really for you”? Sometimes we are so caught up with lust until we feel like it is Love.  If you are a child of God no witchcraft or any other weapon form against you will be able to carry out its duties…God has encamped angels around you. Don’t let your emotions keep you from seeking God for his divine will.  God will take you beyond your hurt…before you know it; you will look back and say, “THANK YOU LORD!”  Sister

January 2009

Q:  Dear Sister,

    My daughter:  Active in the choir, in the dance ministry, and always such a joy to have around. But today I found some text messages that were; let’s just say ugly, dirty, and promiscuous. Then I find out she has a desire to drink. Then to find out she bad mouths me to her new step mother who hates me and was the woman who my ex left me for. I feel like I woke up one morning and found out my daughter was replaced by a monster. She showed she was sorry, when she saw me in tears, but I look at her now and feel like maybe even her remorse is an act; after all, I really haven’t known her at all lately. I am thankful that I found out what I needed to find out before it escalated to a life changing event. It was nipped early, but now I’m just lost. I don't know what to say, what to do, how to act. I’m fasting and praying for guidance. But I feel shut down, fooled, and I guess I’m just stumped. How do I handle this? If you could offer me some encouragement, tell me it’s gonna be ok! That this is just a phase that she will get past it, that this is my imagination, that it’s not real. I thought I was living my life to be an example for her, but she doesn't feel that way. I would hate to think she hates me, but I can't decipher between her words if they are truthful or lies.  Mother in Need

A:  Mother in Need,   From a mother to a mother…Sometimes our daughters will go through some changes in their bodies that battles with their self-esteem, especially when they are in their preteens: They don’t know whether to stay a child or grow up.  Peer pressure plays a very important role in the behavior change.  My encouragement to you is to keep an open communication line with your daughter.  Don’t criticize her in everything she does, but do let her know that her actions now can affect her path of life later.  Sometimes as mothers, we have to talk to our daughters about the pressures we encountered while growing up as a teenager.  This will give her confidence that you really know what she is going through.  Praise your daughter for the positive things she is doing.   Don’t change your integrity to please her. Hold fast to your moral standards and rules that you have instilled in her.  Keep being that concern and prayerful mother with the understanding that God sees your situation. There are many mothers feeling the same as you do.  Our hope is believing in the word of God:  “Train up a child in the way he should go:  and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22: 6.   Hold fast to this promise…it will not fail you…I am a living witness.   Sister (this advice is also for mothers with sons)

February 2009
Q:  Dear Sister,   How do I know that God desires for me to be married?  I hear a lot of women who are Christians say, “The Lord will give me a husband”.  Is this true for every woman? There are sometimes I want a companion in my life and then there is sometimes that I thank God for not being married. Yes, it get lonely sometimes, especially when I am walking through the mall and captures a compassionate moment between a man and a woman.  Then I began to wish it was me, or when I am watching T.V. I see how gentle some men treat women.  In other words I get lonely, but I want to please God also. Sister, I need some woman to woman talk now…not just biblical, but real life help.  Can you help a sister out? I need to find out what is God’s will for my life.  MIX-UP 
A:  Dear MIX-UP, 

  I can only advise you through the word of God.  I think about what Paul said in I Corinthians 7:5, “I wish that all men were as I am (single). But each man has his own gift from god; one has this gift, another has that”.  A companion is a gift from God and only God can determine if you are meant to be married.  If you are meant to be married, then your soul mate has already been appointed by God.  You will not have to search all over for him. If it is God’s will for you to have a husband, then it has already been placed on your destiny road map.  Now it is up to you to stay on the path of righteous.   In order to be free from concern of a mate than you must devote your body and spirit to God.  Before you know it the pieces of your life will began to unfold. This is a situation that only God can guide you through.  Just Remember:  Satan have traps for single women…be aware of his cunning and manipulating acts.  My suggestion to you is to build a relationship with God, so that he can show you the desires he have destine for your life.  Being in God’s will is the best place anyone can be in, but being in your fleshly will, can feel good for a moment, but in due time it will destroy you spiritually.  While you are waiting for the answer to be revealed in your life, keep reading, praying and talking to God.  During the lonely times God will comfort you until your soul-mate is manifested. Read the entire Chapter 7 of I Corinthians.  It will give you a more understanding.  SISTER


March 2009

 Q. Dear Sister,

    What do you do when you are trying so hard to live for Christ and it seem like you miss out on life. I am a 30+ young lady and I have no husband and no kids. I want kids but I don't think I am ready for a husband. I know it is wrong to just want a baby daddy. I feel like I am getting old and if I don't try and have kids soon I probably won't be able to. I don't want to get married just to have a baby; I know I would be miserable. What do I do?   Baby Daddy  

 A. Dear Baby Daddy,        I can see that you are desperate for a baby.  Having a baby from a man that you are not married too is against the principles of God.  I know that your biological clock is ticking, but remember Sara in the bible; her clock had tick beyond ticking, but God gave her a child at the appointed time.  It seems to me that you are lonely.  The first thing you must do is to decide if you want to please God in your decision making.  I gather you are single and don’t want to be along, but will a baby fill that emptiness? Soon that baby will become an toddler, child, teenager, and etc.  A baby is not to be used to fill a void in your life.  A baby is a gift from God.  Although raising a child is challenging, God desire for that challenge to be shared between two parents.  The baby maybe cute now, but he or she is not a doll you can put on the shelf when you don’t want to be bothered, also children are not perfect they grow into little men and little women through our nurturing.  Would it be fair to a child to grow up with just one sided nurturing because of your selfishness?  My suggestion to you is to read the story of Ruth, Sara, Hannah and other women in the bible who were barren and God supplied their need.  Then pray to God for an answer…and wait for him to reveal and manifest his desire for your life.  Sometimes we try to do something that God has destined before we were born.  Age is not the problem in your case, waiting and trusting in God is.  If it is God’s desire for you to have a child…guess what?  He will orchestrate the entire plan, whether it is through a husband, adoption or taking care of someone else's child.  Who knows the hand of God? Now step out on faith and trust God in his decision-making.  Soon you will look back and say “I am so glad I waited on God”.  Sister   

April 2009

Q. Dear Sister,
   I am sister “n” from Kenya, Africa.  I am 16 yrs.  I got pregnant when I was a form one student, I did not abort the pregnancy.  The man who did this to me is a form four leaver.  He is not supporting me or the child and he is not ready or even interested in me again.  I think of killing or dumping the child because of life.  Things are getting worse day after day! Help!   “n” from Kenya, Africa 

 A.  Dear “n” from Kenya, 

  .It may seem hard right now, but if you only trust God and “Believe” He will make it better.  Life is a blessing from God.  Your child did not ask to come into this world, but I believe God has a purpose for him or her.  We all make mistakes, but somehow God uses our mistakes to perfect his purpose in our life.  If you will trust God, God will deliver you from the pain.  I want you to find a seasoned Christian woman (one you can trust) to help you through this time.  Also, seek counseling from your pastor.  Psalm Chapter 25 in the bible and Psalm 64 will help you to build trust in God (read daily).  Remember…”whatever is hard today, is just the answer for tomorrow.” Sister  

May 2009

Dear Sister,

I have a lot going on in my life and I have a problem trusting people; seems like everyone that I have confined in has either turned their back on me or told someone about my situation. I really need to talk to someone other than God. Have you ever been at the point where you need a physical person to talk to? I know that God hears and see everything I am going through, but I need that person to support me in my hard times. Have No Clue

Dear Have No Clue,

You are not alone in this situation. I believe that there are many sisters hurting from someone who they trusted. The bible tells us to put no trust in the arms of the flesh. This is easy to say! But it is true! If you need someone physical to talk to, talk to God and trust him to lead you to the right person. How do you know you have the right person? First, their life will reflect trust. A trustworthy person speaks positive words toward others. You will very seldom see them in cliques; they are very mature in the Lord (Because they know that a fool tells secrets). A trustworthy person depends on the word of God for answers. Try looking around you...scout out others and who they confine in...see what they have to say about the person they talk to. Women tend to know who you can and can't trust, because a trustworthy Godly woman knows how to "whole water and more". I know sometime it can be difficult to trust someone...but trust me; someone is out there, ordained just to be your Big Sister! And guess what! She will never tell! Sister


*** The opinions above are not from a certified counselor, but from your Sister in Christ, therefore it is up to the individual to take the advice...Zion's Daughters of Distinction Inc., will not be liable for your actions.